Chapter 33- High School Regrets

             I look to the past years with sadness as I think about the things I didn’t do. My regrets on not making the most of my time during high school. It’s the time before I changed my personality in grade twelve that I regret making zero monumental and memorable moments. There’s probably a big list of things I would do if I could relive it again.

            One thing I would do would be to study harder and try to excel in all my subjects. When I look at my past graduation and my brother’s graduation, I question if only I knew about the awards and scholarships. I probably could have achieved it and went to a better post-secondary. I would also participate in more extracurricular activities to be more involved within my school and my community. It’s a shame I wasted my high school years not getting good marks to be accepted into well known universities. Right now I understand that education is important, but my high school grades can’t grant me the acceptance to a certain program. Like I said before, school should not accept people based on smartness, but rather the passion to learn.

            Another thing I would do would be to ask the girl that I liked since elementary school. Till now, I never knew if she liked me or not. Perhaps at that time, I should have been more social so that I could get to know people more and make long lasting friendships or relationships with people. I probably would have met someone if I was like that instead of being single and alone.

            Looking back, I think these were the biggest regrets in my life. I should have worked and studied in school like no tomorrow, participated in many extracurricular activities, and be more social and open myself to others. Just thinking about the potential possibilities and opportunities I missed makes me depressed and think how big of a failure I am.

            So what can I do now? I can’t turn back time nor stop it to redo what I regret not doing. I can only look forward to the unpredictable future and live life to the fullest each day. Do the things I enjoy and make me happy and hope that the positive in the present and the future can overwrite the regrettable past. No matter how hard I try to hide my past, it will still be there. So, I urge you to make the most of your life and do the things that matter most to you so you won’t live with regrets like I did.

Chapter 21- The Wall

             We’ve all been through some sort of rejection in our lives. Either it’s going to school, getting a job, or asking out a girl, we all face something known as the wall. You can’t see through it, climb it, or go through it. It’s one of the mysteries in the universe.

            After I graduated secondary school, I applied to various post-secondary in hope to further my education. I had some well known schools reject my admission because I did not qualify. Education can’t be determined by money and your level of intelligence. Education is determined by the passion to learn. That’s what it should be, but it’s not. That’s a wall encountered.

            When I went to apply some jobs after graduating post-secondary, I sent out many resumes and cover letters to various organizations. Most of them never call back to let me know. When I do get a call for an interview, I go and then get called for a second interview. After that, I never got a call for the job. Another wall encountered as I had no clue why I did not qualify for that job.

            From the previous chapter, I told you how I got turned down. I’m not using the word rejected because the friendship did not get damaged from the process. I knew eventually I would have to face the wall some day in my life. I can’t be lying to myself and giving me false hope. Nonetheless, the universe has spoken and given me a wall.

            So far, I have not found a way past the wall. It’s an unsolved mystery or one of the obstacles that life gives me. There must be a way past the wall. Would there be more walls one after another? I don’t know, but I am determined to face the wall and not turn around. If I have to crawl under it and get my hands dirty, I will. If I have to scale the wall like I’m climbing Mount Everest, I will. If I have to keep pounding on the wall with my bare hands until it collapses, I will. It is clear to me; I will fight for the things I hold close to my heart, my passion, and my goal. My pursuit to happiness.