UNSCDF2 Chapter 14- Enduring the Pain

Kandahar Air Base, Kandahar, Afghanistan

Fire Team Kilo’s Camp

April 13, 2001

1900 Local Time

            “So why do you have a picture of my wife?” Cookson stared at Zyrok.

            “Sarah?” Zyrok placed the photo back into his chest pocket.

            “Yes, that’s her. Are you her ex?” Cookson crossed his arms.

            “Sure seems like it.” Green added.

            “No.” Zyrok shook his head.

            “Then why do you have a picture of her?” Cookson demanded.

            “I printed it out to look for her.” Zyrok replied uneasily as Green, Frederick, and Cookson stared at him.

            “Are you stalking my wife?” Cookson asked.

            “No I’m not.” Zyrok replied with a blank face.

            “They you don’t need that photo. Give it to me.” Cookson stuck out his hand.

            “No Cookson.” Zyrok said firmly.

            “Zyrok, why would you want to keep a married woman’s picture?” Frederick questioned.

            “Yeah.” Green nodded in agreement.

            “This is awkward for me to explain.” Zyrok felt himself tense up.

            “Just give me the picture.” Cookson took a step forward towards Zyrok.

            “No.” Zyrok stood his ground.

            “Fine, you have no right to have that picture.” Cookson advanced and reached for Zyrok’s chest pocket.

            Zyrok swatted Cookson’s hand down swiftly as he attempted to grab Zyrok’s picture. Cookson felt annoyed and then lunged himself at Zyrok. The two marines fell to the ground with a hard thud as they tackled for the photo.

            “Get off me!” Zyrok shoved Cookson as he tried to get on his feet.

            “Give me that photo! It’s my wife!” Cookson placed a blow to Zyrok’s head.

            Zyrok felt a sting of pain followed by dizziness as Cookson struck again. Zyrok saw another hit coming towards his face and quickly kneed Cookson to his gut. In a matter of seconds, Frederick and Green intercepted and pulled the two marines away from each other. Zyrok coughed blood and tried to maintain his balance as he stood up.

            “Cookson, you attacked an officer.” Frederick looked at a bruise on Zyrok’s forehead.

            “It’s alright.” Zyrok rubbed his bruise.

            “That’s a court marshal right there.” Frederick announced.

            “No, it’s alright.” Zyrok shook his head.

            “I’m sorry for the behavior of my marines.” Frederick apologized.

            Cookson just breathed heavily and spoke nothing as he watched Zyrok with cold eyes.

            “Frederick, don’t court marshal him. He was being a good husband. It’s only natural.” Zyrok brushed some dust off his shirt.

            “Still, he should not have placed those hits.” Frederick stared at Cookson.

            “Look, I believe you all deserve an explanation as to why I have a photo of Sarah.” Zyrok grabbed a seat.

            “Be thankful Cookson that neither Zyrok nor I am going to court marshal you for your actions.” Frederick eyed Cookson.

            “Thank you sir, ma’am.” Cookson rubbed his stomach.

            “Take a seat. Let me tell you the story of Sarah.” Zyrok pointed at the chairs.

            Zyrok watched as Cookson and Green sat down while Frederick remained standing.

            “Please, sit.” Zyrok urged.

            “Alright.” Frederick sat down beside Cookson.

            “The year was 1999…” Zyrok took a deep breath as the haunting of the past buried so deep in his mind now surfaced.

            Zyrok began with the chats he had with Sarah prior to the evacuation of Australia. Then he continued on with his enlistment in the UNSC to search for her. The missions he had done as he risked his life each day in the pursuit to find her.

            “Zyrok isn’t your real name is it?” Frederick interrupted.

            “No it’s not. But I’ve come to grow with it.” Zyrok replied.

            “What’s your real name?” Frederick asked.

            “Let me finish my story first.” Zyrok continued.

            “Okay, sorry.” Frederick closed her mouth.

            Zyrok continued on about the day he had met Sarah online and got the news that she was married.

            “Never thought I’d see the husband right in front of me.” Zyrok looked at Cookson.

            Cookson smiled lightly, but didn’t want to upset Zyrok.

            “That was a painful day…anyways…” Zyrok continued.

            “It must have been.” Frederick replied sympathetically.

            Zyrok told the story of Mary and how he had turned her down because his heart was true to Sarah. Next, he talked about the day he went to find Mary after hearing Sarah’s news, but found out later that she had moved on.

            “The reason my name is Zyrok now is because the past is gone. I’m no longer who I was before. The past had to be forgotten so that I would continue on with my life.” Zyrok sighed.

            “Wow…” Cookson widened his eyes.

            “Quite a past eh?” Zyrok laughed.

            “You’ve gone through a lot.” Frederick smiled warmly.

            “My real name is Charlie Chu.” Zyrok announced.

            “I’m sorry Charlie for hitting you. You keep the picture of Sarah.” Cookson apologized.

            “Thank you Cookson.” Zyrok thanked.

            “Mike, Michael Cookson.” Cookson stuck out his hand.

            “Nice to meet you Mike. Sarah’s lucky to have you as her husband.” Zyrok shook Cookson’s hand.

            “Well, same to you. You are a good guy. Sorry that I thought wrong of you.” Cookson replied.

            “It’s fine.” Zyrok assured.

            “I’m glad you guys are working it out.” Frederick smiled.

            “Me too.” Zyrok answered with a smile.

            Zyrok rubbed his forehead and winced at the pain.

            “Let’s get some ice and get it looked at.” Frederick stood up.

            “Alright, I’m still a little dizzy from the entire scuffle.” Zyrok joked as he stood up and wobbled for a bit.

            “Woah, let me give you a hand Zyrok.” Cookson rushed beside Zyrok and helped him balance.

            Frederick and Cookson walked Zyrok to the medical room and saw May sitting at a desk.

            “What happened?” May stood up and looked at Zyrok.

            “A few hits to the head.” Frederick replied.

            “A fight?” May asked.

            “Yeah, but it’s all sorted out and dealt with.” Zyrok replied as May walked him over to the examination table.

            “Here, put some ice on it.” Frederick took out a bag of ice and handed it over to Zyrok.           

            Zyrok took the ice graciously and applied it to his forehead. The coldness of the ice numbed the throbbing pain as he placed it gently on the bruise.

            “Better?” Frederick asked.

            “Yeah, a bit. My head is still spinning.” Zyrok replied.

            “Let me take a look.” May put on some examination gloves.

            May touched Zyrok’s bruise and checked Zyrok’s heart rate using her finger.

            “You should be fine.” Just rest on the beds and you’ll be better.” May pointed at a couple vacant beds next to them.

            “Oh alright.” Zyrok got off the examination table with Cookson’s aid and lay down on a bed.

            “I’m sorry I hit you.” Cookson apologized.

            “Don’t be. It’s fine.” Zyrok rested his head comfortably on a pillow.

            “Get some rest Zyrok. We can do your work.” Frederick assured.

            “I will.” Zyrok closed his eyes.

            The two marines left the medical room and May returned to her desk. Something in Zyrok was different after the incident. Even though his hidden past was unearthed, he wasn’t as upset as he was the last time. Perhaps he had found closure. Perhaps it was peace knowing that he had found her. She was married to Michael Cookson and now lived in the San Francisco Outpost. Zyrok thought about the facts for a long five minutes and smiled.

            “No matter what happened or the current situation was, I am going to be Sarah’s good friend. It is the least I could do for her.” Zyrok told himself as he reflected.

            With that thought, he smiled as he fell asleep on the soft bed.

UNSCDF Chapter 45- Untold Stories

Richmond, British Columbia, Canada
UNSC Richmond Outpost
August 6, 1999
2030 Local Time

            Charlie sat on his bed quietly as he reflected on the events that happened in the past few days. It was so silent that you can hear Charlie’s deep breaths as he closed his eyes. He was in bad shape just from the looks of his face. The bright energetic persona was longer there and was replaced by a sad sulky aura.

            “Why is this happening?” Charlie looked at the ceiling attempting to contact a greater being.

            Charlie wasn’t sure which hurt him more; joining the UNSC and risking his life to find Sarah and to find out later that she’s married or totally missing the opportunity with Mary because he was looking for Sarah, but it was all too late now. Both events equally pierced his heart like a sharp dagger. Charlie didn’t want to think about it because the more he thought about it, the dagger plunged further. He wanted to burst to tears in sorrow, but he held himself back. Only warm tear drops trickled down his melancholy face. Charlie grabbed a tissue beside his bed and wiped his face. He was alone and lost. Charlie had no idea who he was anymore or what his purpose in life was. A little part of him wanted to scream out loud so the whole world could hear his pain. Instead, he held his composure as tears continued to stream over his face. Charlie heard a couple of knocks on his door and slowly got off his bed. He wiped the remaining tears away and stood at the door. He was hesitant in opening the door as he felt ashamed if people saw him crying. The door knocked again and Charlie stood still.

            “Zyrok, you in here?” Casey’s voice spoke from behind the door.

            Charlie thought for a minute and walked a step back.

            “Zyrok? We need to talk, it’s important.” Casey continued to knock.

         Charlie struggled to walk forward. Every step towards opening the door felt like his impending doom. His men wanted to see him and he valued his men. For that, Charlie paced to the door and opened it unaware of his red teary eyes.

            “Sir…are you alright?” Casey greeted and immediately looked at Charlie’s eyes.

            To Charlie’s surprise, it was not just Casey who stood outside his door. In fact, Hawkes was beside him as well.

            “I’m okay.” Charlie lied.

            “What’s up Zyrok?” Hawkes looked at Charlie with soothing eyes.

            “What do you want to talk about?” Charlie attempted to change the focus.

            “It can wait. You don’t look too well sir. Do you want to talk about it?” Hawkes offered his help.

            Charlie froze for a second as he thought if he should tell them his problems. He decided to tell them his pain after help was given to him. People wanted to hear him out and perhaps it was the only way Charlie could face his problems.

            “Come on in.” Charlie waved.

            Casey and Hawkes entered and closed the door behind them. Charlie sat on his bed while Hawkes sat beside him. Casey grabbed a chair and pulled it in front of Charlie.

            “Where do I begin?” Charlie asked.

            “Anything you like.” Hawkes replied.

            “Okay.” Charlie took a deep breath.

            Charlie started off with the story before joining the UNSC followed by the real reason behind joining the UNSC to find Sarah. Both the marines listened to Charlie attentively and nodded their heads followed by warm smiles. He continued on with the relationship he had with Mary and his conflicting interests. Hawkes smiled as he heard the part about Mary.

            “It’s a good story. Didn’t know you were that kind of person.” Casey interrupted.

            “That’s the good part…” Charlie continued.

            “Continue please.” Hawkes nodded.

            Charlie continued with his pursuit of Sarah over various missions. He took out his poem and a picture of Sarah he had printed off. Casey took the poem and photo and examined it.

            “Now, the hard part…” Charlie closed his eyes as he felt tears fill his eyelids.

            Charlie rubbed his eyes and covered his face. It was too difficult for him to tell the truth. The truth hurt and he had to face it.

            “It’s okay mate.” Hawkes put his arm around Charlie.

            Charlie cried a little more and the wiped his face with his sleeves. He stared at the ground and began with the conversation he had with Sarah a few days prior. Every inch of word he spoke felt like a needle poke at his heart. Charlie endured the pain as he continued to talk. His story must be told; it had to be shared. Casey listened and smiled in sympathy while Hawkes grabbed a tissue for Charlie. After Sarah’s story, he felt himself die a little, but he took a deep breath and continued on. It was painful, but Charlie soldiered on. He wanted to finish Mary’s story before he could be at peace. Charlie’s hand turned stone cold and his expression turned to lost and hopelessness.

            “You can do it Zyrok.” Casey encouraged.

            “It will make you feel better. Talk it out.” Hawkes handed Charlie another tissue.

            Charlie reached into his pocket and pulled out Mary’s note. Hawkes stuck out his hand and took it from Charlie. Charlie started talking with the note Mary had left for him when she left for the trip to the Scavengers’ Holdout. He paused for a moment when he pictured Derek and Mary holding hands.

            “I was too late. Just like Sarah…” Charlie spoke out loud in thought.

            Charlie rubbed his eyes as he continued on. He talked about meeting Mary and Derek and how any possibilities of anything happening ceased to exist.

            “So that’s my story as I enter my phase of deep depression…” Charlie sighed as he finished talking.

            “Wow, it must be really hard on you.” Casey concluded.

            “Yes, you have no idea.” Charlie held his head down.

        “You are right, I have no idea. I’ve never been placed in that position before.” Casey spoke truthfully.

            “I don’t see a purpose in living anymore.” Charlie placed his hand on his pistol.

            “Woah there mate, easy now. It’s not that bad.” Hawkes assured with a surprised look on his face.

            “I have failed myself.” Charlie pulled out his USP and pointed at his head.

            “No!” Casey and Hawkes both stood up.

            Charlie stood up and backed up to his desk away from the advancing concerned marines.

            “Don’t do it Zyrok.” Casey motioned Charlie to put down his gun.

            “I have lost everything.” Charlie cried.

            “No you haven’t. You still got us. We care man. Put the gun down please.” Casey took a step forward with open arms.

            “I’ve lost more than that. I lost everything! My life! My purpose! My hope! My heart!” Charlie shouted in despair as he pressed the gun barrel firmly to his temple.

            “Put the gun down man.” Casey repeated.

            “Zyrok, you need help. We can get you help. Can you just put the gun down? We can talk this out.” Hawkes spoke softly.

            “It’s too late. I was planning this already. You heard my story. At least I won’t go on knowing my story wasn’t told.” Charlie felt at peace.

            “It’s never too late.” Casey took a small step forward.

            “Step back Casey.” Charlie warned.

            Hawkes slowly walked forward as Casey stood his ground.

            “I’m so sorry guys.” Charlie sighed.

            “No…” Hawkes cried.

            “I’m so sorry Sarah. I’ve failed.” Charlie closed his eyes and tilted his head up.

            The hallway outside Charlie’s quarters was quiet for a brief period as marines walked past the door.

            “No!” Casey’s voice penetrated out the door breaking the silent halls.

            Bang! A loud gunshot pierced from Charlie’s room followed by a loud thump. Marines nearby the quarters heard the gunshot resonate the halls and rushed towards Charlie’s quarters unaware of what had happened. Two marines drew out their Lock 17 pistols while another marine kicked down the door. The room was dark and stuffy. Two figures crouched beside another figure lying on the ground next to a desk.

            “Freeze!” the marines called out and pointed their pistols at the two crouched figures clearly unconscious of what went on in the room before they had bashed the door down and stormed in.

Chapter 21- The Wall

             We’ve all been through some sort of rejection in our lives. Either it’s going to school, getting a job, or asking out a girl, we all face something known as the wall. You can’t see through it, climb it, or go through it. It’s one of the mysteries in the universe.

            After I graduated secondary school, I applied to various post-secondary in hope to further my education. I had some well known schools reject my admission because I did not qualify. Education can’t be determined by money and your level of intelligence. Education is determined by the passion to learn. That’s what it should be, but it’s not. That’s a wall encountered.

            When I went to apply some jobs after graduating post-secondary, I sent out many resumes and cover letters to various organizations. Most of them never call back to let me know. When I do get a call for an interview, I go and then get called for a second interview. After that, I never got a call for the job. Another wall encountered as I had no clue why I did not qualify for that job.

            From the previous chapter, I told you how I got turned down. I’m not using the word rejected because the friendship did not get damaged from the process. I knew eventually I would have to face the wall some day in my life. I can’t be lying to myself and giving me false hope. Nonetheless, the universe has spoken and given me a wall.

            So far, I have not found a way past the wall. It’s an unsolved mystery or one of the obstacles that life gives me. There must be a way past the wall. Would there be more walls one after another? I don’t know, but I am determined to face the wall and not turn around. If I have to crawl under it and get my hands dirty, I will. If I have to scale the wall like I’m climbing Mount Everest, I will. If I have to keep pounding on the wall with my bare hands until it collapses, I will. It is clear to me; I will fight for the things I hold close to my heart, my passion, and my goal. My pursuit to happiness.

Chapter 17- My Readers

             I am very thankful for you not walking away and continuing to read my stories. Your support in me has been greatly appreciated as I continue on to write more chapters.

            This chapter is dedicated to my readers who’ve shown me that people out there still care. That in this reality, out of the negative, there is a positive. You know who you are. I hope that some of these chapters may be similar in your lives so that you and I know that we are not alone. If none of the chapters relate to you, that’s fine. Perhaps you are living the dream.

            We all have our goals in this life. Some different and some the same. No matter what our goal is, we try to achieve it. Sometimes it is the impossible, but does that mean we should give up? If you are not going to pursue it, you will never know if you will achieve it. My goal is the pursuit of happiness. It’s a direction, but all the little things build up towards the goal of happiness.

            I hope you will share these stories to the world to see. Show your friends, families, or even strangers. Your network will not know who exactly I am, but they will know that I’m a person telling my stories during a tough time in my life. This is the reason why I am still anonymous at this point. I want others to read and relate if possible while not being judgmental of who I am, what I do, and where I come from. In the society we live, there will always be some hate speech, but the intensity of the hate will be lessened since it’s not directed at me due to my anonymity.

            So, share my stories with others. Let us help each other out. If you don’t want to share, I respect your decision. I would like to thank you for keeping up with me till now and I hope that you will continue to read my following chapters. Thank you for your kindness.

Chapter 6- Looking Beyond Imperfections

             You may have heard about not judging a book by its cover or that there’s more than meets the eye. In fact, it is very true although there may be first impressions. When judging a person, one must be able to look past the differences and see the person who they are inside.

            As you may have noticed thus far with my anonymity, I have not told you my name, color, race, if I had disabilities, or my religion. Why? Stereotypes in our world play a role in first impressions whether you’d like me or not. What can my name generally tell you? Perhaps my ethnicity and my religion. What if I told you my color? Perhaps some opinions whether or not you like me can be formed as a result of my color. What if I had a mental or physical disability? Do I get less respect because of that? We are all humans, the same inside, but different appearances. What about my beliefs in a greater being or none at all? Would you dislike me if I believed in some other god? The point I’m trying to make is that you probably started putting the puzzles together to see who I am because of commons stereotypes and societal values. Everyone should look beyond the imperfections that are formed and truly look at the person inside.

            There are many unique and interesting characteristics in all of us. Once you look past the cover and start to read the person, you’ll see the imperfections perfect. That’s the magical connection you can start building good and healthy relationships.

            If people in the world didn’t judge based on what you hear or see, but take the time to know somebody, everyone would have a great life. It sounds like another one of my utopias that isn’t going to become true. I could only dream so much and do so little.

            So why am I writing about this topic? Remember the girl from post-secondary? I did not have any connections or feelings for her. Slowly over time as I got to know her better with her caring personality, I start to grew fond of her and had feelings as well. I was seeing something so beautiful within; which has changed my views after that moment in time. I grew more understanding and patient for others. A simple analogy would be opening up an oyster. Hard to crack the shell, but soft on the inside. Whether you find and see the pearl is strictly up to you.

            Some days when I go on Facebook, I still glance at the girl from post-secondary. I miss the good old days when we chatted at school and each day she became prettier than before as I got to know her more. I feel like I am so attached and attracted to her. Sad thing is I don’t feel she has had the connection I got from her. I just can’t let go of her. Perhaps I should, perhaps I shouldn’t. But if you are on the pursuit of happiness, what can you do? Chase her? Find another similar girl? Or both? That will be something that I will need to decide for a while.