It’s
neither an infection nor a gene; in fact, it’s a disease. Let’s face it…it’s
not going to go away. You can hide as much as you want, run as far as you can,
or lie to yourself, but it is always there. Once you have caught the disease,
it forever changes you for the remainder of your life. You are no longer
yourself or in control of your thoughts, actions, and emotions.
Your
mentality is screwed up and you feel alone. Everyone is out to get you, trick
you, defame you, and belittle you. That’s just the beginning of the symptoms
because there’s more. Not only do you feel a strong hatred for the world, you
start to hate yourself, your existence, and your whole meaning of living.
How did it start? How did it spread? How did you get to here?
So many questions to ask, but no one is there to answer them. The world is
cruel and is not a place for the weaklings to thrive. You are a nobody and
nobody cares about you. Let’s face it, if you disappeared off this planet for a
day, a week, a month, or ever forever, the world still turns with or without
you.
The first signs of the disease start somewhere internally.
Not your organs or your insides, but as in your psyche. You feel the sense of
loneliness after you contract the disease. And in that time frame of your
loneliness, you have deep reflections and think about everything. Things on why
this is happening because you have no idea what’s going on. You are afraid to
seek help because it’s a sign of weakness and that’s not allowed our society.
Only the strongest and fiercest survive and by going for help, you know you
will get torn to shreds. So you keep quiet and tuck all of it into the deepest
darkest corner of your mind. Pretend it never happened and that you are okay,
but in fact you are not.
Next, the disease evolves to the next stage where you start
to feel alone and in a state of denial. That loneliness has turned to make you
think that no one is there to help you or cares enough anymore to help. So you
decide to seek help, but you meet the wrong people. There are the two groups of
people that you find which are practically of no use and causes more distress.
They are the ones that exploit your cries for help and laugh at you and the
ones who help in the beginning, but later leave you stranded by yourself. Now,
you tell yourself that everyone out there is nothing but trouble and more pain
for you.
From that stage, you begin to shut away from everyone you
know and everyone you see. You can’t trust them because you’ve been hurt and
left for the wolves to finish you off. It’s understandable because our mind is
protecting ourselves from the unnecessary pain. But that pain intensifies and
disconnects you more from our world. Trust no one, everyone is there to hurt
you, and you are alone. Those three simple mindsets strengthen the disease and
you start to lose control. You begin to think of the uncertainties of living.
Is there a god? Is it fate? What’s after our lives?
It’s natural you start to think like this because you want to
get away from this desolate place where you are uninvited. You question your
purpose in life, why you were born, why you are being treated like this, but
it’s not helping. So you resort to religion or even pick up religion along the
way hoping that if there was somebody out there protecting us, watching us, and
guiding us, they would come and hear your cries of help. You pray and wish
things to get better and go back to how they were before the disease, but you
never get heard. All the tears you cried for help praying begin to take its
toll on you. You realize that perhaps there is no god to aid us and that fate
never really existed. As a result, you decide to make your own destiny by
thinking about the afterlife. Can you start over? Will you be in someplace
better? Will there be peace in the end?
The final stages of the disease are beginning to develop as
you consider taking control of your life. Of all the things that you try to
create to make your life better, it’s not working. The only way you have control
is how you die and put an end to all of it. A getaway from the living hell and
you are not afraid. You know there is no god to aid us, nor heaven or hell to
go to. By now, you are certain of one thing. No one is going to miss you if you
are gone. Oh yes, they might be sad for a few days…weeks if you are lucky, but
in the end, they still carry on with their lives. They’ll forget you sooner or
later like everyone. Suddenly, you think about the people who have taken
control of their lives and saw the media attention they received after. And
that’s when people finally care and decide to make a difference in their
community. Every now and then, people forget about why people took control. And
every now and then, we see the media hungry for this kind of sad twisted news
like vultures circling a deceased corpse. That’s when people decided it
mattered to them. At least you started something after you took control. At
least you made a difference, but not for long because people always forget the
fallen and the causes.
Depression is a disease and it spreads fast within you and to
others. Once you contract it, don’t underestimate what it can do to you.
