Chapter 34- Splitting the Tree

             Although, I do not come from a life of divorced parents, I find that people who have been through a divorce, husband, wife, son, or daughter have been through a lot. Some may benefit from this experience while most of the time I’ve witnessed result in some damage to the person.

            Divorces were not common back when I was still young. Nowadays, it seems like a divorce is perfectly fine. It’s interesting how society can change in just a few years. I’m sure that part of the marriage vows was indicating staying together for the better or the worse. Now, it’s all about oneself and not caring about the others. It is usually the kids that are affected the most from divorces. However, adults can be affected as well and I know this from meeting some people in my life.

            Remember my boss at work? I learned from my coworkers that he was married before and then got divorced. I don’t know what the reason was, but all I knew was that he rarely gets to see his son after the divorce. Perhaps that’s why he was picking on me. Maybe he’s going through some tough times and nobody was there for him. I can imagine how hard it must be to love someone so dearly, have a son, and later be divorced and now you can’t see your son. It’s pretty upsetting and depressing because when you found the One and marry her, she doesn’t love you anymore after a couple years.

            In a marriage to work, the essential keys are communications and trust. No matter how hard the situation can be, both must solve it together as a team. It is from the teamwork that the love still bonds. Also, one must trust the partner and never give up. If you trusted the person long enough to marry them, why let go of that trust when one slight change occurs? Clear communications are essential for common understanding of each other in order to maintain mutual trust and respect for each other. It is these two key components that make the magic work. That makes the love strong and unswerving.

Chapter 31- Closet or Not

             There were some days at work where I get joked about being gay. In fact, I’m not gay. I’m just being myself and friendly as possible to everyone. Some people understand that I don’t like being called gay and will respect that by not calling me that. Others just joke around which I am getting tired of.

            I asked one girl at work why people think I’m gay. She said that I was nice and friendly and that usually gay people are like that. She pointed at another guy beside me and said that he is just so tough looking and quiet. So basically, guys like me are hard to find hence I easily fall into the gay category. Another female coworker commented that I was boyish hence I did not fall into the category of a man. Perhaps I’m still young or perhaps it’s the way I am. People need to respect who each person is regardless of orientation or age.

            While in my gaming group, all of us respect each other. Treat each other like family and help each other out. Perhaps it was because I was the leader that I cultivated a good friendly community. No one should be treated differently because of one or two differences. It is our human rights to have equality amongst all.

            The reason why I don’t like to be called gay is not because I don’t like gays, but I want to be known as straight so that I can pursue my happiness and find the One. That’s the main reason why I don’t want to be called gay. If I’m placed into the gay category, I will never find the One because I’ve simple been placed into the friend list and nothing more.

            Closet or not, I believe that the term be scrapped. It places people in categories. So what if someone is gay? There’s no need to make the closet comment. I am straight, how come I don’t get the closet comment? It’s not fair to make jokes about gay people or to make gay jokes to straight people. We all need to be a little more open, understanding, and respectful of each other. That is how good human interaction should work in this society.

Chapter 27- The Captain's Logbook

             We all have a list of the good and bad things of what people do to us. No matter how hard you try to erase it, it will leave an imprint. An example is a clean sheet of paper, when you start writing on it, there are words imprinted on it. If you try to erase it with an eraser, there will always be smudges or dents on the paper. It will never be the same clean sheet of paper you had originally. The point is, no matter how big or how small an impact a person makes in your life, the imprint lasts forever.

            Here’s the question for you to think about. Do you want a sheet full of good imprints or a sheet of bad imprints? In my opinion, I would say all of us want to have good imprints. In order to get more positive things down into our books, you have to be around the positive and supportive people around you. Don’t stand under the cloud of negativity, stand where the sun shines and the skies are clear. To maintain around the positive people, you also need to be positive and supportive. Same ideology applies, why would a positive person hang out with a negative person? If you are in the same boat, its means everyone is headed down the same path and goal.

            For example, people who always disappoint me in my life rarely have my respect and trust. If they always let me down, why should I be near or be associated with them? Once in a while if someone left a bad imprint, I tend to give them a second chance depending on the circumstances. I am considered to be more forgiving than others. However, if you take advantage of it, you’ll lose my respect and kindness towards you.

What the message in this chapter is telling you is to be nice and positive to the people around you. Similar values and characteristics attract certain people. Like attracts like. It’s like a mirror if you think about it. Whatever you do, make sure you leave a positive imprint in someone’s life and not a negative one. If that’s achieved, the world would be a better place than before and everyone will have a sheet of paper without dark black smudges on it.

Chapter 25- The Clock

             Time, our enemy and our ally, can we control it? People say time flies when you are having fun, which is very true. Time seems to be longer when you are in stress and pain. From my experience, I never have enough time to do the things I want and spend on the things I care about. We all get twenty hour hours in a day to do our things. How much you do in that twenty four hours is determined by your sense of responsibilities, motivation, and determination.

            You can’t control time by extending it, slowing it, freezing it, or speeding it. You can only manage your time so you can do things more efficiently. How do you manage? One must have a list of things that need to be done per day. Then you need to prioritize which ones are most important to you first, followed by the next one on your list and so on. Your goal is to complete all the tasks set out per day in order to manage time efficiently. If you missed out one task, do not procrastinate it or keep it the same priority the next day. You have to make the incomplete task a higher priority the next day in order to complete it or else too much tasks are left incomplete and things start piling up. At that point, you lose controlling time efficiently and make time control what you do. If it’s tasks involving other people, don’t take forever to complete it. People will lose trust, reliability, and respect for you. Do what you say and what you are doing and do it. This rule applies strongly to people in leadership roles. A good leader gets the job done like he or she said will do. A bad leader will only talk the talk, but not walk the walk.

            For example, I had work every night and I want to chat with my friends on my gaming group. Since I’m the group leader, I also have duties associated with it. One day I decided that I want to call up my friends to hang out, but I have a member in my gaming group who had issues with another member and wants to leave because he feels unwanted. That same day, I also wanted to write another chapter for this memoir because I want to. What should I do? Don’t panic because it’s a mess, but think out each task. I’ve got work, hang out with friends, member who wants to leave due to issues, and my memoirs. Let me prioritize now after seeing each task and evaluating based on my values and responsibilities. First, I will go to my gaming group and find the member and help him out. Resolve issues with the member and convince him to stay. Second, I will take time to write my memoirs because I hold it dearly to my heart. Third, I want to hang out with my friends, but not that long as I hoped for. As long as I get to hang out, the task will count as completed. Lastly, I go to work at night. A smooth transition after all the tasks directly into work. So, what was the result of that day? I followed each task sequentially based on my priorities and completed them. Because of that, I got all the tasks needed to be done, done. I also had some extra time left over, so I did some more chatting with my gaming group. If I missed one task, it would be my first or second task the next day so that I accomplish my goals of time management each day.

            Managing time efficiently is achievable. One must have a sense of responsibility, personal values, and the determination to achieve all tasks per day. I’ve had some crazy days with new tasks arising in between, but all I did was reprioritize it and get the job done. It’s hard work, but it pays off to you and how others perceive you.

Chapter 24- A Second Chance

             I believe everyone should have a second chance. We all make mistakes in our lives and need to be forgiven. This chapter will talk about why I believe in second chances and how I gave a stranger a second chance and how we became good friends.

            People generally have good intent, but when something in real life becomes an issue affecting them, it changes who they are. They make rash decisions and become a different person. Usually, when the person has dealt with the issue, they regret some of the choices they made. People who first meet you during your hard times have already based an impression of who you are, but that’s wrong. If you let others know that you have issues to deal with, you should be given a second chance.

            In my gaming group, there was a guy who just joined my group. He would say that another member posted harassing comments on our gaming forum. Later, we asked a gaming moderator to ban the harasser. It turns out that the guy who pointed out the harasser was actually playing two accounts. He got banned for three days and other members were upset because he lied to us. Some members wanted him out of our group. Others wanted him to apologize to everyone in the group by sending out a private message. I had a chat with him, turns out he had some issues in life that was making him be like that. From my experience, I know how hard issues can take a toll on you. I told him next time to talk it out with us and be open to us. Since I was the leader, I told all the members that he was having real life issues and that he was excused. Some called for punishment for his actions, but I replied that he got his punishment already from the ban. It was not necessary to go further, this guy needed a second chance because I saw potential in him and his goodness to admit fault.

            When I look back at that day, I was very glad I made the right choice and gave him a second chance to start over. Put his past behind and looked for his real self. Now, he is a very good friend of mine in my group. Each of us respects each other and trusts one another. I tell him my secrets and issues and he would be there to give me support. One time, he helped me repair a relationship with another person because I told him what I was feeling. I owe him one. I was happy that I gave him a second chance. If I didn’t give him a second chance, he wouldn’t have been in my group. He wouldn’t have been my friend and he wouldn’t have helped me repair a relationship. I’m glad that I met him and have him as a good, trustworthy, and reliable friend.

Chapter 23- Stuck on the Spider's Web

             We’ve all been victims of something or somebody. Sometimes we just want to break free away from harm’s way, but we can never be free. Some victims take a stand, others give in, and others prey on the weaker ones to feel better. I personally don’t pick on the weaker and the small guys just because I’m a victim. Other people don’t deserve the transfer of rage or pain. These people are innocent and should not be part of the cycle, or else it will never end.

            Remember the boss at my work who was sexist? He continued to pick on me because I’m a guy. One day at work, he was picking on my procedures at work by saying that it was disorganized and incorrect. I asked him simply if he thought I had a problem so that I could know my mistakes and fix it. He immediately turned offensive on me and gave me an angry face. He said that my personality and attitude was not suitable for this group and walked out on me leaving me sitting alone by myself for thirty minutes. Once again, I still don’t know what my mistakes were. How can one fix a mistake if your boss doesn’t tell you what you are doing wrong and what he wants to see? It’s impossible. When the lead of my group that shift gave over to see how I was doing, I got upset and emotional at my counter. I cried because I couldn’t take it anymore of his attitude and I felt helpless because he was my boss.

            Can I take a stand for my dignity and unjust actions? Would there be a consequence? Usually there is really no way out. Either I take a stand and get fired or I give in and get kicked out. As I evaluated the two options, I realized a conclusion. Either way will result in termination of my job. One will leave my self respect intact and my values strong and the other one will leave me with no self respect, no confidence, and no dignity. I told myself that I would have to act soon. The more I give in, the stronger and more frequent he picks on me. It is not right and fair for him to treat me like this. I am not his loyal pet; I am a human being that deserves equal respect just like everybody else. There shall be no difference just because I’m a guy. I prepared myself for the next few days as I continued to take his shots. This time, I shall be strong as I told myself. This time, I shall take a stand for what I believe in. Equality and respect amongst each other in the workplace. For me, the battlefield is at work, but I believe it should be a universal field.

Chapter 19- A Friend I Once Knew

             My friend from secondary school who helped run my club was not who I knew anymore. When I met him in grade nine, he was a smart, hardworking, and caring person. Now that I look at the present, his smartness became cockiness. Hardworking to procrastinating or laziness. His caring nature became a selfish one.

            This all changed within two years after the first time I met him. How is it possible? I can only presume from some information I have gathered from other friends. One, it can be because he is in a relationship now and forgot his duties as the leader of the club. Two, he has lost interest in taking a leadership role. Three, he has forgotten to take off his body armor and have become too absorbed with himself. I will never know if it’s all of the above, one of them, or none at all.

            The more and more changes he has made to his personality, the more and more I start to lose respect for a great guy I used to know. I liked him the way he was before, but I will never know what has made him change so quickly. Even though it seems like the symptoms of having body armor, I can never be sure. It’s sad how a great guy can fall in just two years time.

            I wonder if I will be like him in the future or different. I want to maintain who I am now. A responsible, outgoing, caring, honest, and a unique person. To be respected within the community and to be liked by all people. This is going to be part of my journey to happiness.

            The friend I use to know was smart and humble. He would listen to other’s ideas without asking rhetorical questions about your intelligence. He used to complete tasks within a timeframe, but now they are all excuses on why he can’t complete them at all or on time. He was once a caring friend who helped me talk about issues in my life. No matter what the issues were, he would set the time for me to talk to him. Now he is just so occupied with his life, that he doesn’t have the time for me or anything else.

            It’s sad how you can lose a friend in just two years time because of a personality change. I personally think he has forgotten to take off his armor, but I will never know. Perhaps in the future, we would be good friends again…

Chapter 18- The King's Knights

             What is loyalty? How do you define it? How do you gain it? It is a very hard thing to talk about because everyone has their own definitions. In this chapter, I will talk how I show my loyalty and what I expect from loyal friends.

            To gain someone’s loyalty, one must be able to show trust and respect. These are the two most common factors of loyalty. Combine these two together and you get loyalty. How much of these two components will define how loyal a person is to an extent. Would they help you out in times of need? Would they put themselves in front of danger for you? Or would they run away and leave you by yourself?

            My loyalty is very hard to get, but once you get it, you will get a very loyal person. If you abuse my loyalty, I will never be loyal to you again. Those who have shown great care and understanding shall receive my loyalty. Especially in my desperate time would I owe a debt of gratitude. In my books, this debt can’t be paid off because I feel like I owe a priceless item obtained from them. If you give me care and understanding, I would return twice the amount. If you gave me happiness, I will give you double the happiness you gave to me. If you think about it, it’s the basic action reaction concept. Or treat others the way you want to be treated.

            What do I expect from a loyal person? It’s actually simple, what I do for them would be returned as a gesture of loyalty. If I gave you respect because you are a worthy friend, I would simply expect that you give me respect as well. If I gave you a gift for our friendship, accept it and acknowledge that our friendship is valuable. That’s something that doesn’t need to be returned because it has no price to it, but a value. Although there are exceptions to the giving and getting part, this is what I expect from a loyal person. If I have found a person to be loyal, I will not state to them that they are loyal. I would treat them what a loyal friend deserves. Respect, trust, understanding, and my loyalty towards them as well.

            Even though each person has their own definitions of loyalty, but one thing alike is the feedback. You can’t get a loyal friend without being loyal to them and vice versa.

Chapter 17- My Readers

             I am very thankful for you not walking away and continuing to read my stories. Your support in me has been greatly appreciated as I continue on to write more chapters.

            This chapter is dedicated to my readers who’ve shown me that people out there still care. That in this reality, out of the negative, there is a positive. You know who you are. I hope that some of these chapters may be similar in your lives so that you and I know that we are not alone. If none of the chapters relate to you, that’s fine. Perhaps you are living the dream.

            We all have our goals in this life. Some different and some the same. No matter what our goal is, we try to achieve it. Sometimes it is the impossible, but does that mean we should give up? If you are not going to pursue it, you will never know if you will achieve it. My goal is the pursuit of happiness. It’s a direction, but all the little things build up towards the goal of happiness.

            I hope you will share these stories to the world to see. Show your friends, families, or even strangers. Your network will not know who exactly I am, but they will know that I’m a person telling my stories during a tough time in my life. This is the reason why I am still anonymous at this point. I want others to read and relate if possible while not being judgmental of who I am, what I do, and where I come from. In the society we live, there will always be some hate speech, but the intensity of the hate will be lessened since it’s not directed at me due to my anonymity.

            So, share my stories with others. Let us help each other out. If you don’t want to share, I respect your decision. I would like to thank you for keeping up with me till now and I hope that you will continue to read my following chapters. Thank you for your kindness.

Chapter 16- The Good Old Days

             Nostalgia, we all have our own moments that we all want to relive again. Was it hanging out with your friends? Meeting the One? First kiss? Living carefree? The things we cherish the most happens once. No matter how hard we try to recreate it, it will never be the same. There are too many variables from reality that prevent it from being the same. So what do we do? We store it into memory and set it as our standard to achieving happiness.

            What was a moment I cherish from the past? I think for a second and conclude that it was the time I felt like a somebody in this cold harsh world. The feeling of acceptance and care for me in this world. I cherish it and hope to relive it. Perhaps encounter a new moment that exceeds my standards. I am sure that everyone wants to be accepted into society for who they are, but I am merely assuming. Others cherish the time when they were rich, powerful, or perhaps just peaceful.

            No matter what our nostalgic days were, we all put in an effort to make our days better. But do we remember about others in our pursuit to relive the past? Do we drag them along to our road to nostalgia and bring forth a road of despair for them? We have to respect others as well. Hence our nostalgic days will never be exactly the way it was. People grow older, people change, but one thing that doesn’t change is the interaction amongst each other.

            You’ll find I keep talking about respect and tolerance for each other. I guess I cherish for my childhood where everyone was friends with everyone. The laughter of children on the playground. The carefree looks on each child’s dace. The days you could do anything you like and not do real work. Sad to say, people grow old and are introduced to the real world. It is the biggest change for us as we adapt to survive in this unforgiving world.

            What else do I cherish? I cherish the freedom that I once had. Playing with friends at their houses. Biking on a hot summer day to hang out. Sitting down by the dyke smelling the salted air followed by a cool gentle breeze. Running a school club and making new friends. Watching movies for a full day without work. The list goes on endlessly as I pour out my memories.

            The thing I cherish the most was obtaining the care and attention I received from the girl during post-secondary. That warm fuzzy feeling in my heart that changed who I am. That made me feel and open myself. That gave me the hope to continue in this cold harsh world. I hope you could understand how I feel and why I crave for it. I want to feel that my existence here has a purpose. A chance to be human again as I throw away my body armor to the side.

Chapter 15- Drawing the Line

             There are boundaries to each person. You never know what the boundaries are until you push it too far. Many people have a short tolerance, others are longer. One must respect each other’s limits or else either parties would become distant. You push them too hard and they won’t walk back.

            I know this from my own experience during post-secondary. The time I had my crisis and I relied too much for her help. Eventually she wasn’t able to support me and suggested me for seeking help. I went over her personal time boundaries which resulted in the separation of help. I too have had my personal time boundaries stepped on. There was a guy from my gaming group who had issues with real life. At first, I was really supportive and caring. I gave my support and advice to deal with the issues. Occasionally he would have a tantrum on our gaming chat just to seek attention. After five months, his issues were not resolved and his hunt for attention never stopped. Some members didn’t care anymore, others figured he was just wasting time, and I became less aware of him because it had taken a toll on me. I understand how he feels and what he’s going through, but I have issues too. How can I help others if I can’t even help myself?

            As frustrating as it seems, there was a little part of me that wanted to help him when others had given up.  I had to level with him, tell him my stories in hope that he would get something positive out of it. It’s difficult to hear and see the big picture when every single time he has his body armor on. In times of a crisis, we put on armor assuming it would solve the problems. Truth be told, I find it easier to solve your issues with your armor off as you are more open to others.

            There are other boundaries set within ourselves that others do not know. When someone is close to stepping your boundaries, draw the line and tell them your limit. Don’t let them push you over and make you do something that’s harmful to the relationship. Be assertive of your limits. If they don’t respect it, back away from them. Ask yourself a question. Why are you putting yourself open to someone who does not respect you? It’s not worth it if they treat you as a tool instead of a friend. Think about it.

Chapter 13- Behind the Kevlar Vest

             We all got a body armor to protect us from the harshness of reality. The times when we take off our armor are when we are open, intimate, and sharing our secrets. There are some people who forgot to remove their armor once in a while and become a hardened and selfish person.

            I believe in taking off my bulletproof vest most of the time. I only put it on when I feel the need for my own personal protection. What kind of protection? Psychological and mental protection from others. There is goodness in everyone, but people forget it because of the armor. Some people are afraid to take off the armor once they have put it on. They feel safe and secure, but the emotions and caring nature are blocked.

            People need to know that the armor is there for us when we need it to protect our dignity, self-esteem, and self respect. It is not to be used daily as it is our own defensive measures. Sometimes our own defensive measures become offensive without us even knowing it. That is what I believe to be an issue when you deal with hardened and offensive person in your life. Although reality is harsh, don’t block out all the emotions that make you human.

            As you probably noticed up till now, this memoir is written with my armor off. I intend to keep it that way so I can keep it true while not being judgmental of others. Even though I may be upset with a certain person, I believe I should be calm and understanding and tell my stories.

            I personally think that’s harder to crack open a guy’s armor than it is for girls. Perhaps girls don’t wear it most of the time. In our society, guys have to be tough and dominant. We would be laughed at if we were weak or emotional. I think it should not be that way just because of gender differences. Just because of one’s gender, it doesn’t mean we can fire more shots into their armor. Sometimes the shots penetrate the armor and you hurt the person without even knowing it.

            One thing for sure when putting on the body armor, put it on when you are getting harassed or abused. Put it on when you are taking a stand for what you believe in. Put it on for what’s right. Never put it on so that you can be powerful just to harm others and become less human.

Chapter 12- The Alpha

             Everyone has their own leadership qualities and skills. However, some work very well and some not so much. Leading people is all about the human interaction. I’ve seen some great leaders and some really terrible ones.

            Being a leader is not by expressing one’s power and dominance over others. In my opinion, being a leader is the ability to level yourself with others and have understanding for each other. If I took on a leadership role, I prefer to be called by my first name. No boss, mister, president, etc. My name plain and simple. Trust is another factor in determining a good leader. Someone who is reliable and trustworthy will gain the loyalty and respect from the people.

            An example of a good leader would be charging into a battlefield with his men behind him. It shows that he is willing to put his life over others which increase morale and loyalty for the leader. If it was a bad leader, he would send his men out first and then follow behind. His men would think that they are expendable and thus lose morale and loyalty.

            Remember my boss at work who picked on me? He is an example of a horrible leader. Every day I get back from work, I lose respect for him. They say bad leaders bring bad followers, it is indeed true. From what I’ve seen at work, the way he makes fun of a guy of his weight like no big deal, it’s exhibited by other coworkers. I feel sorry for the guy because he is a really nice guy. You can’t judge somebody because of their size; you have to see the person inside for who they are. That’s the way of a good leader. Putting biases and first impressions aside and getting to know each and every person.

            I think every day in our lives, we have seen leadership qualities that work and those that don’t. From my experience, I make sure that whenever I take on a leading position, I do what works well and ensure that I don’t become a hated person. Truth is, there are always going to be bad leaders in our world. That’s reality. Although some may like my leadership, others may not. It’s totally your opinion.

Chapter 11- The Truthful Way

             Many people find me very honest. I am not a good liar either. Why? I believe in telling the truth. Although people say the truth hurts, I find it necessary to be honest. If you something to be done, you have to be direct. Many people don’t like hearing the truth because sometimes the way one puts it can be so blunt.

            From my standpoint, honesty goes a long way. Someone who is reliable and trustworthy is the products of honesty. In my experience in telling people the truth, I would ask them if they wanted to hear a sweeter, but vague truth, or a direct cold truth. For example, if someone asked me if what they are wearing to a graduation dinner is suitable or not. Sweet version? I would say that the suit looks nice, but perhaps a different suit would suit them better. Cold truth? Honestly, I don’t think that suit is a good choice. Everyone is wearing business casual, so it might be a good idea to blend in. However, it is my truthful opinion, so it’s up to you to decide what you want to wear. Either ways, I’ve shown in the example includes me talking honestly. One indirect and the other more direct.

           With the truth, there is a limit one person can take in each day. The good truth is unlimited, but the bad truth is limited. If you have a lot of bad truth to tell a person, you must determine their mood first. Are they open to feedback? Although indirect truth seems easier, but it’s not going to help them or you. The cold truth is the better way as long as you provide constructive feedback. There’s no point in telling them they have a bad attitude if you’re not going to tell them how to fix it. For me, I want to be a good friend and not a person who’s just there to judge and point out problems.

            When telling the truth, I would make sure I have not offended them and state that it is the truth from my perspective as others may have different views. If they are fine with themselves, don’t keep forcing the truth on them. Perhaps you may be right, but never attack their confidence and self-esteem.

            Honesty is the best policy. That phrase is only true if you abide to the boundaries of each person. The truth is only our perception and in order for the truth to be useful, we must give constructive feedback. It’s up to you if you want to give direct truth or indirect truth. Never lash out at their confidence and self-esteem or you will lose their trust and respect. Perhaps you may even lose a friend.

Chapter 10- Self Confidence

             I consider myself confident and optimistic in who I am. Although I may lose my optimism, my confidence still remains at a high. Never before have I had my confidence crushed so low that it makes me upset with my life. Is it just one time? No, it’s like a daily occurrence at work.

            Every time I go to work, I start with 100% confidence. When I go back home, it has become a negative percentage. Negative in a way that I doubt myself. Originally at work, I used to work during the day. After I got transferred to another department to work the nights, we had to get trained again. In our training group, I was the only guy. The manager from this department trained us for two weeks straight. During the training, I was kept being picked on and put on the spot where he would tease me, question me, and make jokes about me. He said that I shouldn’t take it to heart and that the reason I was picked on was that I was a guy.  At first, I told myself that it would be different after training was over, but I was wrong…

            At the beginning of training, I had respect and looked up to him as a role model. I told him I would be with him all the way. As things began to worsen, he would joke saying that if I was still with him all the way. No response. When you abuse someone like that and batter down their confidence, I can tell you that you do not have my respect, trust, and loyalty. One day at work, he made a joke of my appearance. I was offended. Sometimes when he picks on me, I feel like crying. What did I do to deserve this? Because I’m a guy? Usually people would resort to their anger first to deal with the problems. I love my job and the people whom I have to work with are my obstacles in making this job perfect for me.

            The following day after he made fun of my appearance, I went home pretty down on myself. Confidence shattered again. I decided I should tell my story about it and let the world know. I’ve also told the girl who lives on the opposite side of the world that games with me. She said it was harassment and sex discrimination. She said that I should report it. She gave me the strength to put back my confidence together. I decided that I will speak to my union representative when I had enough. Eventually, when you push people to their limits, the boiling water spills out of the pot. There will be the time I took a stand for what’s right once again.

            You want to know what’s sad? The girls in my training class knew I was getting picked on. I told them I felt, but none of them stood up for me. For me, it’s all about standing up for the little guys. Everyone deserves equal treatment and respect. If my manager was being a gentleman by not picking on girls, but instead picking on guys, he is not a gentleman in my books. My view of a gentleman is someone who treats everyone fairly and equally regardless of gender, ethnicity, religion, color, race, and by first impressions.

            It’s weird how society allows us to do things so unjust and unfair. Do we sit back and watch the unkindness happen in front of our eyes? Or do we step in and take a stand for what is right?