UNSCDF Chapter 46- The Turning Point

Richmond, British Columbia, Canada

UNSC Richmond Outpost

August 7, 1999

1015 Local Time

            Charlie woke up with his head spinning. He opened his heavy eyelids and found himself in one of the interrogation rooms. He tried to stand up, but realized that he was handcuffed to the chair. Both his hands were locked to the armrests. Beside him was a mirror, but Charlie knew it wasn’t just any mirror. It was a transparent window and a room on the other side. Charlie looked at his reflection and saw a bruise on the side of his head.

            “Hello?” Charlie called out as he wriggled in his chair.

            His voice echoed in the room as he continued to call out. Charlie wasn’t sure if he had died. He only had bits and pieces of memory recalling his last conscious moments in his quarters. He remembered closing his eyes and bidding farewell to his men and Sarah. Everything went so fast after that. Hawkes and Casey lunged at him. Charlie recalled the gun going off and then a sharp pain to his head. After that, he remembered he was lying on the ground and his vision turning black as his marines crouched in front of him.

            “Hawkes? Casey?” Charlie called out.

            After a few minutes, the door opened. Charlie saw Cole standing outside the door as Hawkes and Casey walked in. Charlie watched as Cole shut the door and then turned to face his marines. The pair sat down in front of Charlie and looked at him silently. Both Hawkes and Casey did not spoke a word, but continued to stare at Charlie. Charlie was beginning to feel uneasy and he looked at the mirror.

            “Am I dead?” Charlie asked with uncertainty.

            “No, you’re not.” Casey finally spoke.

            “Oh.” Charlie blinked his eyes.

            “Still trying to kill yourself?” Hawkes asked.

            “I don’t know man. I really got nothing to live for.” Charlie closed his eyes.

            “Didn’t you say you wanted to save humanity?” Casey asked.

            “A person like me isn’t going to make a difference. Just put me out of misery.” Charlie shrugged.

         “Look Zyrok, I know you. You are a good man. Look at the alliance you started with the Scavengers.” Casey pointed out.

            “Don’t forget, you risked your life all the time in the missions for us so we come home in one piece.” Hawkes added.

            “There are a few good men left in this world. You’re one of them.” Casey pointed at Charlie.

            “Thanks.” Charlie smiled nervously.

            “We need a good man to lead us and to teach others that there is still goodness in humanity despite the current society.” Hawkes pitched in.

            “And it is the good men that fall first…” Charlie countered.

            “Not if they can pick themselves up and dust themselves off. They turn from good to great.” Casey reasoned.

            “That’s only if you have purpose in life.” Charlie spoke with a solemn face.

            “Then let us help you find a purpose.” Hawkes offered his help.

            “Let’s take a look. Your previous purpose was to find Sarah correct?” Casey asked.

            “As much as it pains me to talk about it, yes.” Charlie nodded.

“How about you live for Sarah?” Casey questioned.

“I don’t think that’s possible.” Charlie shook his head.

            “Fine.” Casey rubbed his chin in thought.

            “Zyrok, what if you never had that conversation with Sarah? What if you never found her yet?” Hawkes asked with a grin.

            “Yes, wouldn’t you still be looking for her? Hence you would still have your purpose.” Casey nodded in agreement.

            “That’s just hiding the truth.” Charlie shook his head.

            “The truth can change over time.” Hawkes countered.

            Charlie thought for a moment about Hawkes’ idea. If he pretended that he never met Sarah and continued on with his search for her, he would still have his purpose. Downside is Charlie already knew the truth; Sarah was married and loved another man. He loved her, but he was too late. Charlie would have to put the truth about Sarah into the deepest and darkest corner of his mind. He would have to lock it up and pretended it never happened.

            “One day, the truth will be spilled.” Charlie commented.

            “It will, not unless you keep telling yourself and other people that you are still looking for Sarah. Don’t ever think about the conversation that took place.” Hawkes replied.

            “That’s hard.” Charlie complained.

            “That’s the only way Zyrok.” Casey replied.

            “Zyrok…I just had another brilliant idea.” Hawkes grinned.

            “What?” Charlie asked.

            “It’s the names…” Hawkes smiled looking very pleased with his idea in mind.

            “Continue, please.” Charlie wondered.

            “You go by two names correct? Charlie and Zyrok?” Hawkes asked.

            “Yes…” Charlie raised his eyebrow.

            “Most of us call you by Zyrok instead of Charlie. Does anyone call you Charlie instead?” Hawkes asked.

            “Sarah and Mary, I think.” Charlie was beginning to see a connection.

            “Then that’s it.” Hawkes exclaimed.

            “Calm down Hawkes.” Casey interrupted.

            “Zyrok, you need to forget the past. Forget Charlie. You are now Zyrok.” Hawkes explained.

            “What are you proposing?” Casey was amused.

            “Repeat after me Zyrok, okay?” Hawkes requested.

            “Okay…” Charlie was uncertain of Hawkes’ plans.

            “Charlie is the past. Zyrok is the future.” Hawkes spoke out loud.

            “Haha.” Charlie laughed.

            “Say it man.” Hawkes ordered.

            “Fine. Charlie is the past. Zyrok is the future.” Charlie repeated.

            “Who are you again?” Hawkes questioned.

            “I’m Charlie or Zyrok.” Charlie replied.

            “No, you are now Zyrok. Charlie is long gone and with the past as well.” Hawkes stated.

            “This is brainwashing.” Charlie complained.

            “No, it’s for your own good sir.” Hawkes explained.

            “How so?” Charlie smirked.

            “Every time your past comes back, tell yourself that you are Zyrok and your purpose is to find Sarah.” Hawkes explained.

            “It’s for the best.” Casey added.

            “Very well.” Charlie sighed.

            “Once we release your restraints, Charlie is no more. You are now Zyrok and will become Zyrok once you stand up.” Hawkes stood up.

            “The decision is yours to make.” Casey stood beside Charlie and unlocked his handcuffs.

Chapter 34- Splitting the Tree

             Although, I do not come from a life of divorced parents, I find that people who have been through a divorce, husband, wife, son, or daughter have been through a lot. Some may benefit from this experience while most of the time I’ve witnessed result in some damage to the person.

            Divorces were not common back when I was still young. Nowadays, it seems like a divorce is perfectly fine. It’s interesting how society can change in just a few years. I’m sure that part of the marriage vows was indicating staying together for the better or the worse. Now, it’s all about oneself and not caring about the others. It is usually the kids that are affected the most from divorces. However, adults can be affected as well and I know this from meeting some people in my life.

            Remember my boss at work? I learned from my coworkers that he was married before and then got divorced. I don’t know what the reason was, but all I knew was that he rarely gets to see his son after the divorce. Perhaps that’s why he was picking on me. Maybe he’s going through some tough times and nobody was there for him. I can imagine how hard it must be to love someone so dearly, have a son, and later be divorced and now you can’t see your son. It’s pretty upsetting and depressing because when you found the One and marry her, she doesn’t love you anymore after a couple years.

            In a marriage to work, the essential keys are communications and trust. No matter how hard the situation can be, both must solve it together as a team. It is from the teamwork that the love still bonds. Also, one must trust the partner and never give up. If you trusted the person long enough to marry them, why let go of that trust when one slight change occurs? Clear communications are essential for common understanding of each other in order to maintain mutual trust and respect for each other. It is these two key components that make the magic work. That makes the love strong and unswerving.

Chapter 8- Writer's Block

             I sit down wondering what I should write about this time. I’m at the phase where every writer is blanked out writing their new topic. Since I can’t think about a specific topic, I will just write down some random things on my mind.

            One day heading to work commuting, I saw the kindness in people. There was an old lady who did not speak fluent English that got on a wrong train. One passenger tried to help her, but was not familiar with the train stations. He called out for help and then a man came. He told the lady which stops she should get off and transfer to which stations. The lady asked if he could show her the way. Unfortunately he was heading to work like I was. That moment in time, a woman approached the lady and told her she could ride back with her and show her the way. The lady thanked all of them for their help and the man replied that she reminded him of his mother. I was very touched by the act of kindness by three different strangers.

            There are days I compare my life with others because I want to have a feel what it is like in their shoes. Most of the time, I feel that there must be a way to make my life a little better than before. Avoid my problems or confront them? Or should I search for a new path? I think I’m trying my best to adjust a little part of my life to the pursuit of happiness. There are going to be many obstacles to prevent me from achieving it, but I think I must face it. Swim against the current unlike the others. Be different and autonomous.

             There are things that can’t be bought in life or it’s priceless. I think society thinks that when we marry people, you have to marry someone rich. That’s true if you are going to survive in the world, but would the person really see for who you are? I think that when you are going to begin a relationship, one must be searching for the things that are priceless and not quantitative. This is the ability to establish healthy and long-lasting relationships. I’ve heard about couple who have been together all their life. Reason? It was the love for each other for who they are inside no matter how bad the situation was in real life. They could battle down obstacles together even when splitting up seemed like a better choice. That is something I wish to have for each other in a relationship; the undefined love, care, and loyalty.

Chapter 2- Facinating Creatures

 Girls, what can I say about them? Let’s make it into females in general. Over the months after my nineteenth birthday, I’ve come to the realization of understanding of how females play a role in the male’s life. I don’t want to be stereotypical, so I am just going to speak from my own opinion and perception. From my point of view, I’ll just be saying girls because it’s easier for me to say than female due to my age.

            From my own experience, I find that girls are the most interesting and fascinating living things on this planet. How a girl can complete and give a guy his desires is truly profound. Personally for me, my desires are to be cared and to feel like I matter in this world. Other people have other desires wanted from girls, but I am not one of them. I respect girls and appreciate their nurturing personality. A girl can make the fiercest of lions turn into a friendly sheep. Why is that? I believe it is our nature to need someone there to give us a second opinion, a second look, and a gentler way for the guys.

            From my story, I can tell how much I cherish hanging around people who care about me and who I care back. You see, between a guy and a girl, there is no competition. Rather, it’s simply the collaboration, unity, and understanding of each other. Take a minute to think about that. If everyone was like that, our lives would be harmonious and carefree. Reality? It is not that simple as it seems.

            So, what do I want in a girl? It’s quite simple. Someone who understands me, respects the way I am, and shows that they care about me. The girl from my post-secondary that helped me asked what I looked for in a girl. At first, it sounded like a hard thing to ask for, but when I told her my response. Isn’t that what everyone wants? That moment, the puzzles started to fit together. Everyone had the same standards. If so, why am I still single? Hence, I go and reflect at myself and start to tear up.

            Flashback to a day at work at my new job. There was a female coworker roughly in her mid thirties. We talked about girls and families. Eventually I asked if she had a family. She said if she doesn’t have a baby in four or five years, she won’t consider a kid as she would be too old. I asked her if she met the One and she talked about a time when she was in her twenties where she had an interest in a guy at work. Eventually she found out that the guy was in a relationship and all bets were off. I felt sad for her, but also worried for myself as well. Am I going to be like her as well? Am I going to be alone? With the streak of bad luck, is it even possible for me?

            Continuing on, I believe it would be beneficial if you had a sibling of the opposite gender. Same ideology applies as well. I only have a little brother who is a few years older than me. Because of his gender, he is not as caring and supportive as I would want from a sibling. He just simply does not care about me. Why I am saying that is because I had and experience once. Back when I just got over my crisis, I went back to visit my relatives. A cousin of mine, female, was currently in a relationship. One day we watched a movie with my cousins about a true love story in pursuing the girl of your dreams. From what I saw in the movie, the guy did not get the girl and had his regrets. After thinking about it, I became very emotional. Not sure to pretend to be strong and hide from reality. Should I talk about it? Who should I talk to?

            One night while I was sleeping over at my cousin’s house, I rested on the bed thinking if I should ask my cousin and talk about my issues. It took some courage, but the result was astonishing. We talked about the movie, how she met her boyfriend, and retold my crisis that occurred to me with the girl. We chatted for an hour and she listened. Then she gave me some advice and told me not to worry. This was the first time I had a supportive and caring relative. Someone who I could trust. Someone who I can rely.

            It is in my interpretation that girls are generally more supportive and caring. Although I did not receive a lot of love from my parents, I had built the craving for it. Because of the need, one who can provide the needs for me can win my loyalty and my love indefinitely just like the girl from post-secondary. However, she is in a relationship and it does not seem feasible. Sometimes I look up at the stars and wonder. Am I the only person feeling like this? Or am I in the wrong place at the wrong time? I try to not lose hope…