Chapter 16- The Good Old Days

             Nostalgia, we all have our own moments that we all want to relive again. Was it hanging out with your friends? Meeting the One? First kiss? Living carefree? The things we cherish the most happens once. No matter how hard we try to recreate it, it will never be the same. There are too many variables from reality that prevent it from being the same. So what do we do? We store it into memory and set it as our standard to achieving happiness.

            What was a moment I cherish from the past? I think for a second and conclude that it was the time I felt like a somebody in this cold harsh world. The feeling of acceptance and care for me in this world. I cherish it and hope to relive it. Perhaps encounter a new moment that exceeds my standards. I am sure that everyone wants to be accepted into society for who they are, but I am merely assuming. Others cherish the time when they were rich, powerful, or perhaps just peaceful.

            No matter what our nostalgic days were, we all put in an effort to make our days better. But do we remember about others in our pursuit to relive the past? Do we drag them along to our road to nostalgia and bring forth a road of despair for them? We have to respect others as well. Hence our nostalgic days will never be exactly the way it was. People grow older, people change, but one thing that doesn’t change is the interaction amongst each other.

            You’ll find I keep talking about respect and tolerance for each other. I guess I cherish for my childhood where everyone was friends with everyone. The laughter of children on the playground. The carefree looks on each child’s dace. The days you could do anything you like and not do real work. Sad to say, people grow old and are introduced to the real world. It is the biggest change for us as we adapt to survive in this unforgiving world.

            What else do I cherish? I cherish the freedom that I once had. Playing with friends at their houses. Biking on a hot summer day to hang out. Sitting down by the dyke smelling the salted air followed by a cool gentle breeze. Running a school club and making new friends. Watching movies for a full day without work. The list goes on endlessly as I pour out my memories.

            The thing I cherish the most was obtaining the care and attention I received from the girl during post-secondary. That warm fuzzy feeling in my heart that changed who I am. That made me feel and open myself. That gave me the hope to continue in this cold harsh world. I hope you could understand how I feel and why I crave for it. I want to feel that my existence here has a purpose. A chance to be human again as I throw away my body armor to the side.

Chapter 8- Writer's Block

             I sit down wondering what I should write about this time. I’m at the phase where every writer is blanked out writing their new topic. Since I can’t think about a specific topic, I will just write down some random things on my mind.

            One day heading to work commuting, I saw the kindness in people. There was an old lady who did not speak fluent English that got on a wrong train. One passenger tried to help her, but was not familiar with the train stations. He called out for help and then a man came. He told the lady which stops she should get off and transfer to which stations. The lady asked if he could show her the way. Unfortunately he was heading to work like I was. That moment in time, a woman approached the lady and told her she could ride back with her and show her the way. The lady thanked all of them for their help and the man replied that she reminded him of his mother. I was very touched by the act of kindness by three different strangers.

            There are days I compare my life with others because I want to have a feel what it is like in their shoes. Most of the time, I feel that there must be a way to make my life a little better than before. Avoid my problems or confront them? Or should I search for a new path? I think I’m trying my best to adjust a little part of my life to the pursuit of happiness. There are going to be many obstacles to prevent me from achieving it, but I think I must face it. Swim against the current unlike the others. Be different and autonomous.

             There are things that can’t be bought in life or it’s priceless. I think society thinks that when we marry people, you have to marry someone rich. That’s true if you are going to survive in the world, but would the person really see for who you are? I think that when you are going to begin a relationship, one must be searching for the things that are priceless and not quantitative. This is the ability to establish healthy and long-lasting relationships. I’ve heard about couple who have been together all their life. Reason? It was the love for each other for who they are inside no matter how bad the situation was in real life. They could battle down obstacles together even when splitting up seemed like a better choice. That is something I wish to have for each other in a relationship; the undefined love, care, and loyalty.