Chapter 39- Stress Out

             There are days I’m just so stressed out with so many tasks and issues. What do I do? I take a deep breath and think out each task and issue and prioritize them. For issues that affect my mental or physical well-being, I go take some rest, listen to music, exercise, play games, or talk it out with trusted people. For just tasks that stress me out, I prioritize them based on the things that I can handle without shutting down.

            Resting while listening to music helps me relax and think things clearly as I think and reflect. The calmness and clarity relieves most of the stress. When I exercise, whether it is to workout, bike ride, or dance, I find it a way to release my energy that stresses me out so that the tremendous amount of energy does not explode inside me. Playing games is another way of removing myself from the stress as my mind goes out to another world. Perhaps a world that I have more control of rather than the real world. I can also socialize with others and place myself in a carefree environment as I do what I want without any penalties or responsibilities. Finally, if it’s more of a mental or physical stress that’s going to affect my well-being, I find that talking it out and sharing it with others helps. I can get new insights and ideas as to how I can deal or manage my stress.

            Whenever I get stressed out, I use these techniques to manage it. However, there are days when I just can’t manage it or perhaps the only way to express it is to write in this memoir as I write and reflect on my own issues. I guess my goal to happiness includes kicking stress out in my life so that life would be easier and less things to worry about.

Chapter 29- The Golden Crown

             I’m sure that at one point we’ve taken on a position of power or leadership. With reality always acting so strange and unpredictable, we want some sense of control. There will always be some who are power hungry and refuse to step down or perhaps there are people who have the power, but do nothing. Power is earned by trust and respect and not by showing who has the strength or the brains. When one is in a position of power, there are followers underneath them. The people beneath them are not slaves and they are no different than you. We are all the same; we are humans.

            A powerful leader is respected and trusted within the community. When I run my gaming group, I make sure everyone is equal. I treat them like a family; provide help and services when need. A lot of my members said that I was a great leader and that my group was a great group to join. Others said I didn’t need to change my leadership styles because it works. Hearing that from my members gave me a boost of morale and enthusiasm as I try to make it an even better gaming group.

            A leader must know that with power, there is responsibility. Power is earned and not given. Abuse of power may result in consequences that may leave a bad imprint in people. In my gaming group, a chain of command is established not because I want to obtain more power, but actually give power to people to assist me with my responsibilities. It may be also known as the delegation of tasks since there are certain tasks doable without requiring my presence.

            I personally believe that one should not have a dictatorship role. The spreading of power is the diplomatic way where everyone benefits. I would like to known as a good leader. Someone that can be trusted and relied upon. In return, I would do the same and uphold my golden crown and be a good king. A king who treats all equal and wears no signs of royalty to differentiate from others.

Chapter 25- The Clock

             Time, our enemy and our ally, can we control it? People say time flies when you are having fun, which is very true. Time seems to be longer when you are in stress and pain. From my experience, I never have enough time to do the things I want and spend on the things I care about. We all get twenty hour hours in a day to do our things. How much you do in that twenty four hours is determined by your sense of responsibilities, motivation, and determination.

            You can’t control time by extending it, slowing it, freezing it, or speeding it. You can only manage your time so you can do things more efficiently. How do you manage? One must have a list of things that need to be done per day. Then you need to prioritize which ones are most important to you first, followed by the next one on your list and so on. Your goal is to complete all the tasks set out per day in order to manage time efficiently. If you missed out one task, do not procrastinate it or keep it the same priority the next day. You have to make the incomplete task a higher priority the next day in order to complete it or else too much tasks are left incomplete and things start piling up. At that point, you lose controlling time efficiently and make time control what you do. If it’s tasks involving other people, don’t take forever to complete it. People will lose trust, reliability, and respect for you. Do what you say and what you are doing and do it. This rule applies strongly to people in leadership roles. A good leader gets the job done like he or she said will do. A bad leader will only talk the talk, but not walk the walk.

            For example, I had work every night and I want to chat with my friends on my gaming group. Since I’m the group leader, I also have duties associated with it. One day I decided that I want to call up my friends to hang out, but I have a member in my gaming group who had issues with another member and wants to leave because he feels unwanted. That same day, I also wanted to write another chapter for this memoir because I want to. What should I do? Don’t panic because it’s a mess, but think out each task. I’ve got work, hang out with friends, member who wants to leave due to issues, and my memoirs. Let me prioritize now after seeing each task and evaluating based on my values and responsibilities. First, I will go to my gaming group and find the member and help him out. Resolve issues with the member and convince him to stay. Second, I will take time to write my memoirs because I hold it dearly to my heart. Third, I want to hang out with my friends, but not that long as I hoped for. As long as I get to hang out, the task will count as completed. Lastly, I go to work at night. A smooth transition after all the tasks directly into work. So, what was the result of that day? I followed each task sequentially based on my priorities and completed them. Because of that, I got all the tasks needed to be done, done. I also had some extra time left over, so I did some more chatting with my gaming group. If I missed one task, it would be my first or second task the next day so that I accomplish my goals of time management each day.

            Managing time efficiently is achievable. One must have a sense of responsibility, personal values, and the determination to achieve all tasks per day. I’ve had some crazy days with new tasks arising in between, but all I did was reprioritize it and get the job done. It’s hard work, but it pays off to you and how others perceive you.

Chapter 5- It is My Responsibility

             We all have our own standards, own ethics, and own values. So, what are my standards? I am a true believer in doing what you say you are going to do. Especially when I take on a leadership role, I have a sense of responsibility. When I say I will do something, I will do it. I’m not a person who gives false promises. Either I will tell you I will do it or I will tell you that I can’t do it. I get upset and angry if somebody can’t keep their word. If I say I will do something, no matter how hard the situation is or how busy in life I am, I will do it. I will make arrangements to ensure I have kept my word. Some people find me reliable and others find me too free with my life. I believe the human interaction is important in making good and trustworthy relationships. However, that’s not the case. I have the standards and I abide by it. I’d expect the same as well from the others, but most of the time there are excuses. Either you do it or you don’t. There’s no need for excuses. That’s my policy.

            Flashback to my high school when I was ran my school club. Every day was a fun day with lots of activities and excitement. After I graduated, I passed on the leadership to my friend. His first year with my guidance, he was able to complete most of the planned activities. I can’t tell if it was his school work and life, he became less and less involved. The club became more and more quiet. The second year for his leadership of the club, I did not give any guidance. Furthermore, it was becoming dormant and almost dead. Occasionally, I would still pop back to give support and guidance. One day I pointed out his slacking and he became angry at me. His excuse? Lots of school exams, other clubs, extracurricular activities, girlfriend, etc. On and on with the excuses. He said that I had too much time on my hands. Perhaps he was right. Because obviously being a full time student at post-secondary and having a part time job would be any way easier than his life. Wrong. Since I founded the club, it was my responsibility to oversee its legacy. Hence, I had to manage my time for my duty.

How good of a person are you when they put their trust in you and you give them excuses? Pretty much you would be considered useless. Once again, this is my thoughts about this topic although some may disagree completely. One thing I can say with confidence is when you put your trust and rely on them and they end up not doing it or make up excuses, it truly is a disappointment. Perhaps it’s just me, but I have had a lot of disappointing moments in my life. If you had a legitimate excuse, that’s fine. But when it becomes an occurrence and you either postpone or not do the task thereafter, it’s just like the story of the boy who cried wolf. Trust takes years to build and a minute to lose it.

            There are days I wonder why I get all the disappointments in life from people when all I have was made them happy by being reliable. Where is my share? You’d expect what you give is what you get. Isn’t it that the way it should be? I guess I’ll never know…