Chapter 27- The Captain's Logbook

             We all have a list of the good and bad things of what people do to us. No matter how hard you try to erase it, it will leave an imprint. An example is a clean sheet of paper, when you start writing on it, there are words imprinted on it. If you try to erase it with an eraser, there will always be smudges or dents on the paper. It will never be the same clean sheet of paper you had originally. The point is, no matter how big or how small an impact a person makes in your life, the imprint lasts forever.

            Here’s the question for you to think about. Do you want a sheet full of good imprints or a sheet of bad imprints? In my opinion, I would say all of us want to have good imprints. In order to get more positive things down into our books, you have to be around the positive and supportive people around you. Don’t stand under the cloud of negativity, stand where the sun shines and the skies are clear. To maintain around the positive people, you also need to be positive and supportive. Same ideology applies, why would a positive person hang out with a negative person? If you are in the same boat, its means everyone is headed down the same path and goal.

            For example, people who always disappoint me in my life rarely have my respect and trust. If they always let me down, why should I be near or be associated with them? Once in a while if someone left a bad imprint, I tend to give them a second chance depending on the circumstances. I am considered to be more forgiving than others. However, if you take advantage of it, you’ll lose my respect and kindness towards you.

What the message in this chapter is telling you is to be nice and positive to the people around you. Similar values and characteristics attract certain people. Like attracts like. It’s like a mirror if you think about it. Whatever you do, make sure you leave a positive imprint in someone’s life and not a negative one. If that’s achieved, the world would be a better place than before and everyone will have a sheet of paper without dark black smudges on it.

Chapter 25- The Clock

             Time, our enemy and our ally, can we control it? People say time flies when you are having fun, which is very true. Time seems to be longer when you are in stress and pain. From my experience, I never have enough time to do the things I want and spend on the things I care about. We all get twenty hour hours in a day to do our things. How much you do in that twenty four hours is determined by your sense of responsibilities, motivation, and determination.

            You can’t control time by extending it, slowing it, freezing it, or speeding it. You can only manage your time so you can do things more efficiently. How do you manage? One must have a list of things that need to be done per day. Then you need to prioritize which ones are most important to you first, followed by the next one on your list and so on. Your goal is to complete all the tasks set out per day in order to manage time efficiently. If you missed out one task, do not procrastinate it or keep it the same priority the next day. You have to make the incomplete task a higher priority the next day in order to complete it or else too much tasks are left incomplete and things start piling up. At that point, you lose controlling time efficiently and make time control what you do. If it’s tasks involving other people, don’t take forever to complete it. People will lose trust, reliability, and respect for you. Do what you say and what you are doing and do it. This rule applies strongly to people in leadership roles. A good leader gets the job done like he or she said will do. A bad leader will only talk the talk, but not walk the walk.

            For example, I had work every night and I want to chat with my friends on my gaming group. Since I’m the group leader, I also have duties associated with it. One day I decided that I want to call up my friends to hang out, but I have a member in my gaming group who had issues with another member and wants to leave because he feels unwanted. That same day, I also wanted to write another chapter for this memoir because I want to. What should I do? Don’t panic because it’s a mess, but think out each task. I’ve got work, hang out with friends, member who wants to leave due to issues, and my memoirs. Let me prioritize now after seeing each task and evaluating based on my values and responsibilities. First, I will go to my gaming group and find the member and help him out. Resolve issues with the member and convince him to stay. Second, I will take time to write my memoirs because I hold it dearly to my heart. Third, I want to hang out with my friends, but not that long as I hoped for. As long as I get to hang out, the task will count as completed. Lastly, I go to work at night. A smooth transition after all the tasks directly into work. So, what was the result of that day? I followed each task sequentially based on my priorities and completed them. Because of that, I got all the tasks needed to be done, done. I also had some extra time left over, so I did some more chatting with my gaming group. If I missed one task, it would be my first or second task the next day so that I accomplish my goals of time management each day.

            Managing time efficiently is achievable. One must have a sense of responsibility, personal values, and the determination to achieve all tasks per day. I’ve had some crazy days with new tasks arising in between, but all I did was reprioritize it and get the job done. It’s hard work, but it pays off to you and how others perceive you.

Chapter 23- Stuck on the Spider's Web

             We’ve all been victims of something or somebody. Sometimes we just want to break free away from harm’s way, but we can never be free. Some victims take a stand, others give in, and others prey on the weaker ones to feel better. I personally don’t pick on the weaker and the small guys just because I’m a victim. Other people don’t deserve the transfer of rage or pain. These people are innocent and should not be part of the cycle, or else it will never end.

            Remember the boss at my work who was sexist? He continued to pick on me because I’m a guy. One day at work, he was picking on my procedures at work by saying that it was disorganized and incorrect. I asked him simply if he thought I had a problem so that I could know my mistakes and fix it. He immediately turned offensive on me and gave me an angry face. He said that my personality and attitude was not suitable for this group and walked out on me leaving me sitting alone by myself for thirty minutes. Once again, I still don’t know what my mistakes were. How can one fix a mistake if your boss doesn’t tell you what you are doing wrong and what he wants to see? It’s impossible. When the lead of my group that shift gave over to see how I was doing, I got upset and emotional at my counter. I cried because I couldn’t take it anymore of his attitude and I felt helpless because he was my boss.

            Can I take a stand for my dignity and unjust actions? Would there be a consequence? Usually there is really no way out. Either I take a stand and get fired or I give in and get kicked out. As I evaluated the two options, I realized a conclusion. Either way will result in termination of my job. One will leave my self respect intact and my values strong and the other one will leave me with no self respect, no confidence, and no dignity. I told myself that I would have to act soon. The more I give in, the stronger and more frequent he picks on me. It is not right and fair for him to treat me like this. I am not his loyal pet; I am a human being that deserves equal respect just like everybody else. There shall be no difference just because I’m a guy. I prepared myself for the next few days as I continued to take his shots. This time, I shall be strong as I told myself. This time, I shall take a stand for what I believe in. Equality and respect amongst each other in the workplace. For me, the battlefield is at work, but I believe it should be a universal field.

Chapter 5- It is My Responsibility

             We all have our own standards, own ethics, and own values. So, what are my standards? I am a true believer in doing what you say you are going to do. Especially when I take on a leadership role, I have a sense of responsibility. When I say I will do something, I will do it. I’m not a person who gives false promises. Either I will tell you I will do it or I will tell you that I can’t do it. I get upset and angry if somebody can’t keep their word. If I say I will do something, no matter how hard the situation is or how busy in life I am, I will do it. I will make arrangements to ensure I have kept my word. Some people find me reliable and others find me too free with my life. I believe the human interaction is important in making good and trustworthy relationships. However, that’s not the case. I have the standards and I abide by it. I’d expect the same as well from the others, but most of the time there are excuses. Either you do it or you don’t. There’s no need for excuses. That’s my policy.

            Flashback to my high school when I was ran my school club. Every day was a fun day with lots of activities and excitement. After I graduated, I passed on the leadership to my friend. His first year with my guidance, he was able to complete most of the planned activities. I can’t tell if it was his school work and life, he became less and less involved. The club became more and more quiet. The second year for his leadership of the club, I did not give any guidance. Furthermore, it was becoming dormant and almost dead. Occasionally, I would still pop back to give support and guidance. One day I pointed out his slacking and he became angry at me. His excuse? Lots of school exams, other clubs, extracurricular activities, girlfriend, etc. On and on with the excuses. He said that I had too much time on my hands. Perhaps he was right. Because obviously being a full time student at post-secondary and having a part time job would be any way easier than his life. Wrong. Since I founded the club, it was my responsibility to oversee its legacy. Hence, I had to manage my time for my duty.

How good of a person are you when they put their trust in you and you give them excuses? Pretty much you would be considered useless. Once again, this is my thoughts about this topic although some may disagree completely. One thing I can say with confidence is when you put your trust and rely on them and they end up not doing it or make up excuses, it truly is a disappointment. Perhaps it’s just me, but I have had a lot of disappointing moments in my life. If you had a legitimate excuse, that’s fine. But when it becomes an occurrence and you either postpone or not do the task thereafter, it’s just like the story of the boy who cried wolf. Trust takes years to build and a minute to lose it.

            There are days I wonder why I get all the disappointments in life from people when all I have was made them happy by being reliable. Where is my share? You’d expect what you give is what you get. Isn’t it that the way it should be? I guess I’ll never know…