Chapter 47- Feedbacks

             I believe giving and getting feedback is important. However, feedback should neither be positive nor negative, but instead be constructive. It’s easy to pick one person’s faults and errors, but is there a way they can improve and how to do it? Giving positive is very good, but does it give room for improvement?

            I personally like constructive feedback because I get to know the truth, but also get ways to change if need be. In my opinion, a critic may be one of the most negative people. Unless one is actually the subject matter expert, one technically has no right or knowledge to critic someone. Not all critics are bad in general. There are people who are good critics by giving constructive feedback.

           

            Going to my work environment, the boss who picks on me does not give good constructive feedback. His feedback is vague, indirect, and negative. As a result, the message he wants to portray is lost in the process. I guess it’s a part of miscommunication or maybe not.

            Another example is the feedback I get from my stories and artwork. I get a variation of feedback from different people. Some positive, some negative, and some constructive. Whatever it is, it’s still good to have feedback so I have a sense of going to the right direction.

            One should know that feedbacks are truly one’s own personal opinion and it is up to the receiver to take it and absorb it. If you feel strongly about something or a point, there is no need to sway just to please them. You can’t please everyone, but you can at least make yourself happy. It is that control you have over other people’s feedbacks that affects how you react.

Chapter 46- The Positive Shield

             Over the few weeks of getting still picked on by my boss and feeling down, I’ve come to the realization of so much negative impact my boss has made in my life and personal well being. One day I decided that dwelling in this cloud of negativity is not going to help me. It’s time for me to think and be around positive people. Life is too short to be focusing all my energy and well being from this boss at my work.

            This is what I consider the positive shield. Keeps me positive with life, self esteem high, and remain as a human without being hardened by body armor. This is a new defense, one that works without changing personality or harming others. So far it has proven to be useful within my hostile work environment. My boss wants to feel in control of everyone and he would do anything it takes to obtain in. Threats, talk you down, embarrass you, you name it. He wants control, I’ll give him it. No matter how bad the situation is, I have control of whether to take it in or not. This shield does not allow the negativity to pierce into me. One day he made a big deal of a tiny mistake I had made. He yelled at me in front of other people and put on a mad face. He would make me feel like an idiot and that I did not know what I was doing. My confidence and self esteem crushed gives him control and power over me. How I react is what fuels him. So I can make him believe he got me inside, but I’m actually intact and have high morale.  In order to achieve this, the shield would be the way.

            Like all shields, they must be repaired or recharged after it takes a beating. So what happens when my shield is damaged? I look at all the positive things in my life and tell myself that I should not take in these petty things my boss is doing to me. When I reflect on how supportive and positive my friends are, I feel renewed strength and energy. The person whom I feel has been the most positive and caring person is the girl from my gaming group. In the darkest night, her warmth and light shines me a path and lights up my hope. The positive shield is operational once again as I face a new unknown day.

Chapter 28- A Hidden Talent

 All of us have some sort of talent that we don’t know about. The hard part is identifying what exactly it is. Till now, I still don’t really know what hidden talent is. Although it may be my interpersonal skills, but I feel everyone has that skill and it makes the talent too general. I believe our hidden talent defines us and makes each and every one of us unique.

            Even though I can’t identify my talent, I can see talent in others. Perhaps others can identify my talent. For example, I had a classmate who knew everything about planes. Ask him what type it is or what airline it belongs to, he would tell you. Another person was from my gaming group; he would be the first person to complete assignments and was considered to be top of the class. So, one person who knows about airplanes and the other who is a straight shooter and gets the job done.

            Each and every body has a talent. Some talents may have a positive impact and others may have a negative impact. For example, if a person has a talent in debating, he or she would be considered positive if he or she is on your side. What if they aren’t? They’ll probably be stubborn and confident on their side that they forgot to take a step back and see each other’s views. Another example would be someone who is a professional gamer. They excel in the gaming world, but what happens in the real world? In reality, things are a lot different so it may impact them negatively. Whatever talent we may have, there are always two sides to it. Because of a strength, there will be a weakness. In a positive, there will be a negative to balance it.

            Till now, I am searching what I’m good at. What’s my purpose here in this world and I can contribute to society. Perhaps one day I will find out or perhaps I will never find out. No matter what happens, I will put it with my goals in life to search and find my hidden talent. Perhaps it is a journey with no ending.

Chapter 26- Taking the First Step

            Being the first is always the hardest. No matter how prepared you are for something, you’ll never succeed on the first attempt. But if you never take the first step, you’ll never advance and know what could happen. Most opportunities don’t come towards you if you don’t take the first step. Some examples are jobs, asking out a girl, or simply asking out for help.

            What are the chances that you sit at home waiting for someone to offer you a job? Almost unlikely. The first step one would need to do is to submit resumes and cover letters to many organizations in order to get a call. Most of the time, you don’t get a call, but you learn how to better sell yourself and to improve your resume. From that first step, you’ll know what you need to do to further yourself.

            What are the chances that the girl you like also likes you if you don’t ask her out? Once again, very rare because you don’t know. From my experience, I couldn’t lie to myself if the girl from my gaming group likes me, so I had to take the first step and ask her. It was hard because there can only be two responses. A yes or a no. After that step, I know what I did wrong and right in order to better prepare myself the next time. Since that was my first time asking out a girl, I have better experience when it comes to this matter again because I’ve taken my first step.

            If you are in trouble and need someone to help, does help come to you when you don’t call for it? Realistically, no. When I had my crisis back in post-secondary, I took my first step in sharing it out with that girl. I also took my first step when I went to see a counselor for help. Although I was unsure and scared, I took my first step to seek help. I’m glad I did it.

            New opportunities arise when you take a first step into the unknown territory. No matter what result it is, positive or negative, you will have gained a new experience.

Chapter 17- My Readers

             I am very thankful for you not walking away and continuing to read my stories. Your support in me has been greatly appreciated as I continue on to write more chapters.

            This chapter is dedicated to my readers who’ve shown me that people out there still care. That in this reality, out of the negative, there is a positive. You know who you are. I hope that some of these chapters may be similar in your lives so that you and I know that we are not alone. If none of the chapters relate to you, that’s fine. Perhaps you are living the dream.

            We all have our goals in this life. Some different and some the same. No matter what our goal is, we try to achieve it. Sometimes it is the impossible, but does that mean we should give up? If you are not going to pursue it, you will never know if you will achieve it. My goal is the pursuit of happiness. It’s a direction, but all the little things build up towards the goal of happiness.

            I hope you will share these stories to the world to see. Show your friends, families, or even strangers. Your network will not know who exactly I am, but they will know that I’m a person telling my stories during a tough time in my life. This is the reason why I am still anonymous at this point. I want others to read and relate if possible while not being judgmental of who I am, what I do, and where I come from. In the society we live, there will always be some hate speech, but the intensity of the hate will be lessened since it’s not directed at me due to my anonymity.

            So, share my stories with others. Let us help each other out. If you don’t want to share, I respect your decision. I would like to thank you for keeping up with me till now and I hope that you will continue to read my following chapters. Thank you for your kindness.