Chapter 3- Secrets

             Ever wonder if secrets should be shared with people? I have. Question is how much do you want to share? Sharing it requires an act of balancing. Is it personal? Would sharing make you feel better than before? I personally think that if you share some personal issues that trouble you, it would be a wise decision even though lots of courage is needed.

            Here I am, sharing some of my deepest personal secrets for strangers to see. I think it’s easier for me to share secrets with complete strangers because you don’t have to face them in your life. From this memoir, I think sharing it to the world would somewhat make me feel better. Rather than digesting in everything and making me upset or angry.

            Sharing secrets is a two-way street. Both sides need to feel comfortable and secure sharing their secrets. I’ll give an example with the girl in post-secondary. When she was helping me with my crisis, she shared some of her family life and relationships that she had. From that, I was able to relate some points and feel better. Because she shared her secrets, I was able to share some secrets about my life as well.

            Sometimes sharing secrets is the only way to resolve your issues. Why leave it all to yourself? Let someone help you with your problems. If you don’t share it, people can’t help you even if they try. I think the time when I went to counseling; it was the unknown I had to face. I don’t even know why I was there or how they could help me. Nonetheless, I just said what’s on my mind. The one hour session was all I had. Pity it was short. Totally could have had more time. Felt like counselors should give more of a listening ear. So, to share your secrets and have someone who has the time and supports you makes me very happy.

            Gender differences also play a role in sharing secrets. If I showed this memoir to a guy, he’d probably tell me to man up. But if I showed it to a girl, they are more supportive and able to give some good feedback and positive support. Hence, I think girls are fascinating creatures.

            There is a secret that I’m not sure if I want to share, but I’d like to give it a try. Ever felt so alone you’d cried yourself to sleep? I have. Let me tell you this, it’s not just a one time occurrence. If you never cried yourself to sleep, you are very fortunate and have a good life. Maybe I’m too emotional. In society, it’s alright for girls to cry and get emotional, but not alright for the guys. A guy’s tough and strong figure makes them hardened. Question for all. Is that the way it should be? Can guys cry too? I think the more hardened you become, the less awareness you have for the others. What do you think?

            There are some secrets that I still regret sharing. That grade eleven year when a friend offered to help me get together with the girl I like, but went out with her instead. This time, I will go into a bit more detail. I never told anyone that I liked her since grade seven until grade eleven. He said that he could help me out with her. I trusted him. Spilled my secret. Got backstabbed. Sometimes I wonder if he became hardened, unaware of the feelings of others.  Perhaps, secrets can’t be shared with guys. Maybe I just haven’t found the right group of guys that could be trusted. Bad luck once again? Perhaps…

            So what have I learned so far for secrets? Some secrets are worth sharing, but some secrets need a bit more evaluation before you share it with others. Sharing it to others who are strangers to you are okay for me since I get the anonymity. Then again, this is my own perception and my thoughts, so I’m not generalizing. I am sure some of you would completely disagree with me. It’s fine, I’m not here to judge.