Day 82

Day 82

Sat. Nov. 30, 2013

One more day before I turn one year older. Time really does fly now that I've come to think of it. Anyways, I didn't really do much today to write that much. All I did was looked over some readings for VCULT100 and the rest of the day I enjoyed myself by playing computer games.

Later the night, I played poker with my roommate and I won 5 rounds out of 7. Not sure if I was lucky or he gave up because I fold when I don't see a good hand and wait his patience.

Oh well, I ended the night with Skype call that my brother wanted me to test his app on finding cheap foods. It was very user friendly and easy to use...can't wait till it becomes official.

Day 81

Day 81

Fri. Nov. 29, 2013

Last official day of school and it will end off at Stratford. There is a lot to talk about for this final day. Today was the day for GBDA103 user experience presentation and I was all ready to present in my formal attire. When the class started, only one of my team had showed up...the other was not there. To be honest, we started this group off with a team of 4 and one of the members transferred out leaving us to a team of 3 and now for the final presentation...2. The show had to go on and I must say I was very impressed with the results of what our team was able to pull off.

To expand more of GBDA103, this class set the bar of what university education should be about. This is the class where I will miss the instructor and enjoy the interactive class that we had. To top things off in having a great instructor, she bought us coffee, hot chocolate, tea, etc. for everyone on the final day and took us to the Stratford campus' game room where we played with high tech equipment.

The last thing she taught me was about life on her last presentation slide mentioning how life is a wheel and that we are some point on the wheel. Whether when we are at its lowest point, we will find out way back to the top. Truly inspirational and worthy of sharing. I plan on keeping in touch with her not because we've established a network, but as a friend that developed understanding and mutual respect.

GBDA101 was the final class to sum things up. Our class had the time to work on our final projects and it was stressful as well because we lacked the knowledge of the softwares we were using.

The day ended quickly and I went home tired and dizzy. I took a nap and before I knew it, it was almost night. I did some work and now I shall sleep. I'm looking forward to my birthday in two days.

Day 80

Day 80

Thur. Nov. 28, 2013

ENGL100A final class and we were introduced to our exam preparation class. It turns out that there are 3 short essays and 1 big essay on the final exam. So much writing in so little time.

Today was the last ARBUS200 group meet where we worked on the last project. One of the member who has not been pulling his weight didn't even bother to show up to do the final project. Shame on him for saying that he had other work to do. We all had work and exams coming up and it should not be an excuse.

There days when I'm mad or upset can be easily turned around when I talk to my girlfriend on Skype and today was that day. She's the one who is most caring and understanding to me. For that, I am thankful and honoured to have her. After a talk with her about my blog and what steps I should take and that is to completely finish off Term 1 blog and then see how it goes. I figured that I'm not a person who starts something and finishes halfway. I haven't started before and I won't start now.

Anyways...GBDA101 presentations are tomorrow and I know our group is up. Time to sleep and suit up for tomorrow.

Day 79

Day 79

Wed. Nov. 27, 2013

Last class for ARBUS200 and I must say that I enjoyed the lecture from the professor. There was lots of informative and knowledgeable things about entrepreneurship that I had learned in this term.

As I sit down and write this, the real question I ask myself is why am I writing this? Am I writing it to get attention? To generate stories? To please the audience? I know the answer, but I will not state it because only the few know who I am and what I write. I had been informed by a person that I was being judged and criticized for my works. It was nice and honourable of the person to approach me because I believe in honesty. Even though it was upset and stunned, I needed to know the truth. It has occurred to me that I may be privatizing these blogs to those people who truly respect the truth.

My girlfriend knows of these daily university life blogs and she knows that I am in truthful in what I am writing down as records for me to revisit back into the past when this is all over. When one takes things online, the haters will hate and the judges will judge. The instructor that told me it was courageous to post these entries for the public to see was indeed right. However, it may come down to the final statement of me and my girlfriend against the world...

Day 78

Day 78

Tues. Nov. 26, 2013

The last week of classes before the finals. I have to say I've survived this far is an accomplishment. There were times I felt like quitting and turning around, but I endured thus far. Next challenge...final exams.

ENGL100A today was wrapping up the final bits of lecture as well as VCULT100 where the instructor went over final exam details. Slightly nervous, but feeling ready for the home stretch and going home for Christmas.

The night ended with a ResCouncil pizza party where we celebrated our works for the residence and I had a blast as I stuffed myself with pizza and pop.

As for the winter plans to meet up with my girlfriend, we decided that it would be better to do the meet in the spring where I can stay at her hometown and find a summer job there. Big plans...baby steps.

Day 77

Day 77

Mon. Nov. 25, 2013

Since today is my typical laundry Mondays, I got up early and headed off to do my chores. The downside to that was that I needed to exit the house to go to another part of residence to do my laundry which included a cold walk in the snow.

I did some studying today on various courses and I looked at some of the tools I have downloaded for my GBDA101 final assignment. Lots of new software to learn, but manageable...for now.

I ended off the day with some research about my trip to visit my girlfriend. I looked at train prices and then hotel prices and realized that it was going to be pretty costly. I told her it's time to let my parents know about her and see if they have thoughts about this visit. I hope it goes well as planned.

Suddenly, I remembered another story I wrote about the idea of waiting for someone. I will post up my first short story that I have written before my other short stories. A little background of my writing...after I finished two full length novels, I decided to try short stories to give it a try. In regards to the novels, that's for another time...

Day 76

Day 76

Sun. Nov. 24, 2013

Another day of sleeping in as much as I can to recover my energy. The day looks the same and almost identical as yesterday's. Some days I feel like I'm just sitting here and staring at the wall with a blank mind unaware of my consciousness as if my whole life is being played out like a movie. To be honest, I'm not quite sure if this is the result of university life and stress.

I think today is one of those days I sit back and reflect on life. I feel that once you enter university, you lose your sense of autonomy and individuality. Going to school and doing work on a repetitive non-stop basis has created a sense of pattern. Like robots on an assembly line, I have lost sense of that reality to connect back into my daily unique life.

This reminds me of a short story that I have written about patterns and repetition in our lives this summer when I was preparing for university. It's almost as if I had written how I would have become. I will share that short story to show one of my works which I have been longing for. My story writing journey all began when I started the chase for a girl which I still won't go into detail for now.

The skies are dark and the snow has stopped...time for me to get more rest for the grand finale...finals.

Day 75

Day 75

Sat. Nov. 23, 2013

I slept in really late till noon as I wanted to get some time to recover my energy. When I looked out my window, I saw snow covered grass and ice covered roads. What a bright delight to see the starting of winter!

Today I worked on some GBDA101 assignment as I tried to familiarize with the tools that I need for the final project. Then I did some reading for VCULT100 and got bored.

As a guy who remembers this special day, I video Skyped my girlfriend and we chatted for a few hours and celebrated our three month mark. I told her I might be visiting her during exam periods and that I would need to take a train to get there due to lack of transportation. If only if I had a car…

Short day for me, but I'm tired so I'm off to sleep.

Day 74

Day 74

Fri. Nov. 22, 2013

Woke up bright and early ready to present my product for GBDA103 this morning. I got on my formal attire and had a nostalgic feeling from the times I was at work dressing in business attire.

When I got to Stratford today, GBDA103 had so many interesting and innovate ideas for user experience. Although we may be short staffed and lacking motivated teammates, I was convinced that I would be able to present the product with a good sales pitch. Turns out later that there wasn't enough time and we got postponed to next week. Not sure if I should call that lucky or not, but either way I was ready to pitch my sales.

GBDA101 was a self-structured class we our group worked on finding assets for our animation project. I plan on getting some software from my brother who can assist me with the right tools that I need to use to craft a good animation.

As the term is coming to an end, I'm thinking of getting creative and do something to release my creativity that has been held back due to heavy homework and projects. Perhaps I can tell you some of my past stories that I had mentioned earlier.

On a side note, I was going over all my posts for reflection and realized that I had messed up on the days. I was one day behind, but it's all fixed now.

Day 73

Day 73

Thur. Nov. 21, 2013

Today must have been the worst headache or migraine I had thus far. I am on the edge between crashing to the ground and passing out or throwing up from the intense dizziness. Unsure of what the cause of this nature is, I'm taking Dimenhydrinate 50mg x2 for my systems. Funny thing is, I know a lot about the specific medicine I need to consume to keep me in my shape. No medical background, but I know what it does...that's another story from my past which I may reference to later on if I feel comfortable in talking about it.

Lots of group meeting and group work today. First I had my GBDA101 group meet and discussion on storyboards followed by another GBDA103 meeting on product designs. After that, I had ENGL100A where we watched a movie about Alan Moore, the comic artist, for the whole class. A good hour of stress relief, but the most stressful things were the ARBUS200 meeting at night and working on GBDA103 presentations which my group members were submitting me needed files I asked for three days ago.

The fact that's stressing me out the most is my teammates that I have to constantly nag to get stuff out despite being already late is absolutely ridiculous at the university stage. I understand that everyone is busy with their work, but if I can pull my time together...so can they. I'm like a work horse with three riders on my back and it's draining my energy out.

Some days when I feel my lowest, I go talk to my girlfriend about it and she helps me sort things out. Regarding the events of yesterday, all I can say about that is she's in a state of denial of the incident. It's really sad how society works against the victims of said crimes. I was talking to a female friend of mine on FaceBook today discussing about the incident and she was telling how certain laws of assault can be bent into the offender's advantage. All I can do is be there for her and help her pull through this. I've always been there for her, it's just another obstacle that's come across my path.

Day 72

Day 72

Wed. Nov. 20, 2013

Today was supposed to be a typical day just like any other day at ARBUS200 Wednesdays such as presentations, long days, and group work. Nothing really stood out that much except a brief networking exercise that last for two minutes.

I came home to work on my ENGL100A essay to wrap things up and I noticed that my girlfriend had expressed some dark thoughts on FaceBook. I texted her asking what was wrong and to my surprise, she had been assaulted by some guy who she knew. That made me very and angry and upset, but there was a situation at hand. She was lost in a rural area and running scared. I was able to calm her down and convince to her to call the police. Keeping my sense of the situation she was going through, I told her to tell me details of where she was. I asked for roads, street names, highways, electricity towers, fences, shops, etc. from her and was quickly able to help her track down where she was roughly through my Google Map street view and bird's eye view. Then I gave her the rough location and told her to tell the police where she may be.

Just so you know, this is all done in text. Anyways, the police arrived and brought her home. He asked questions and details of the assault and left. What was astonishing was that he didn't leave her a name card, or some crisis phone line, or even a police file number. I felt like the police is corrupted. Here I was convincing my girlfriend to report the incident with courage and all she got was that they will be working on getting him into jail. If this was a puppet show, I'm sure I could do better than just saying that if it's just lip service.

Later, I told her to go and tell her mum of the incident. To my disbelief, she said her mum listened and then walked away. I'm somewhat disturbed and disgusted with her mother's action. My girlfriend told me that I was the only one who actually cared about her...perhaps. And perhaps the only person who truly loves her...

Day 71

Day 71

Tues. Nov. 19, 2013

I haven't really been getting much sleep as I should as I usually sleep late and wake up early to a "Good Morning" text from my girlfriend each day around 7. Even if was grumpy or moody that day when I woke up, that one text from her can start my day off with a big smile and bring me on the path of positivity.

It's ENGL100A today and I sat in class listening to two group presentations on Captain Nemo from 20,000 Leagues Under the Seas. During the presentation of intertexuality, oppression, and religion within the book and linking it to another graphic novel called The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...I found an astonishing link! The pieces of the puzzle were coming together as I assembled what the comic author wanted us to see about our society. Each specific character from The League represented a specific icon regarding society. I also managed to discover the Illuminati symbol within the comic by accident and thus setting me off in a rampant conspiracy theory during presentations discussions. Boy was I onto something big!

That feeling of multiple light bulbs lighting up simultaneously was astonishing as if I had entered into a whole new level of inception. This must be the whole point of this ENGL100A course and I have uncovered it.

Between classes, I went to Burger King to get my meal because I had a coupon for a deal. Since I'm a university student, saving money is good. Anyways, that's not the point...the point is the experience. Every staff including the manager appeared to be bored and tired as I greeted them with my order. This isn't the first time it has happened to me on this Burger King and I had given them a second chance. This time, they blew my experience at Burger King because they carried an attitude. An attitude that displayed that they did not like serving us. So, sometime this week I'm going to fill that survey on the back of my receipt and tell them my experience.

Now I'm going to stop the ranting and continue on with my VCULT100 where we discussed about gender views in film. One thing that struck out to me was that most films in Hollywood were centered around the male character and that the woman was an object of desire. Interesting...is that why our society is treating woman as objects? Still missing a link there, but I'm sure I'll find it like my ENGL100A.

Today's post is long! Not my usual post, but I had a lot to say for today... Anyways, ResCouncil meeting ended off with us discussing about doing more karaoke nights, door decoration events, and our ResCouncil member party. Looking forward to that next week! Long day...long post...long night...off to sleep.

Day 70

Day 70

Mon. Nov. 18, 2013

As much as I wanted to lie in my bed as the alarm clock rang, I knew I couldn't sleep peacefully until this term is over. I had to keep my daily routine of laundry Mondays as well as utilizing this free day for doing homework.

So I stayed home the whole day reading over the novels that I read for ENGL100A to help build solid points on my essay. Next, I did a final rundown of my VCULT100 before I printed and hand them in tomorrow in class.

For the remainder of the day, I worked on the GBDA101 accountability document and parts of my ARBUS200 group assignment. Feeling satisfied, I decided to play some online games to have my cooldown period.

During my work session, I was contacted by an unknown person on Facebook to whom I asked who he was. He explained that he was a follower of my blog and was wondering why my blog had stopped. Upon closer inspection, two of my posts that I posted earlier had disappeared. After wrapping my thoughts on my assignments, I reposted the missing posts and had a weird sense of...feeling...that how many people were really lurking on my blog? But then I tell myself that I shouldn't care what others think or expect to hear from me. This is my blog and I intend to keep it free and open without censorship.

Out of nowhere, I remember the instructor that had been following my blog telling me how brave it was to post my daily life for the public to see and judge. This remind me of another story about a chase for a girl for a year and seven months...old memories die hard. That's another story for another time.

I managed to call my girlfriend up because she lets me know whenever I am able to get the call without the parents knowing. In a few days, we will reach our three month mark. Although her number is counted as out-of-province fees for my phone, I figured this is money worth spent. We are planning to meet in December between my two exams which are split apart. She's already mentioned she has a Birthday and Christmas gift for me if I can make it and a tour of the downtown city. So much promise and a bright future.

Day 69

Day 69

Sun. Nov. 17, 2013

Miracles do happen after all is how I shall start with this post. I start this day off with me working madly on the ENGL100A essay which needs to be 6 to 8 pages in length. To come to think of it, I've published two novels both near the 200 page length. Maybe because it's my creative side that can bring out the best of me. I completed the best I could and the rest of the essay requires a class on Tuesday for me to fill in the supplementary content.

The miracle that I was talking about is when the doctor said my girlfriend needed a miracle to get her memory back. Over these weeks, my girlfriend is really remembering the story of us and parts of how we came to be. We had a phone conversation with her while she was at her friends house and I decided to sing one of the songs I had been trying to learn to sing for her. It turns out it was good and she liked it.

Upon realization that I had forgot a VLog on Saturday, I apologized and made up for it on the tonight's VLog. Then we asked each other if we are really in love and if it's just a matter of speech with no meaning behind the words. After a discussion, we've come to the conclusion that it is love. Reason? Love is the strength and patience that we have. Love is the honesty and trust that we build. Love is when everything tells me to give up, but I keep going.

What I didn't mention was what she and I had talked about last night. I told her she was the One and she replied that she knew I was the One when she didn't remember and that I didn't give up on her. Anyways...this talk is making me a mushy which I don't think any person cares except me.

Day 68

Day 68

Sat. Nov. 16, 2013

I woke up really early ready to do my essay. I sat down comfortably and listened to my music that I always listen to when I was typing my written novel into a document file. Old memories of hard work inspire me to bring back the nostalgia of getting things done.

After a couple hours of strenuous work, I have completed my VCULT100 essay about one film. Let me tell you, a formal analysis essay on a film's structure is hard! I'm more used to writing creative works rather than logical work. Oh well, it's done anyways so one less stress gone. Next thing to tackle...ENGL100A major essay about all the novels combined and how it has changed my views over time.

So hard work for the full day and the reward for me was that I was able to Skype with my girlfriend before she and I had to go to sleep.

Day 67

Day 67

Fri. Nov. 15, 2013

Snowing and cold winds for Stratford Fridays. As much as I would like to see snow, the freezing wind was killing my face with coldness. So GBDA103 was another fun-filled day because we had group Improv presenting on a product based on whatever images the instructor had put up. Basically, rolling with the punches and quick on your feet

Next was GBDA101 where I, the Project Lead/Facilitator, had to present our class with storyboard ideas from our group to work on our final project. Since I had presentation skills from my BCIT post-secondary experience, making good PowerPoint slides was a breeze and just talking in front of class.

When I got back home, I immediately worked on the my two big essays due next week with VCULT100 as the main priority. What I didn't realized was that our residence community had a karaoke night...and I have never sang in public. The only time I sang was to my girlfriend on video Skype and I was already shy as a kid. So what did I do? I assessed the songs that I knew of which were some of the good old classics and paired up with another guy and sang my heart out. After bursting that bubble of insecurity, I lined up as much as I can to sing some of the songs which I listen to often.

Turned out to be quite a night and I managed to get little bit of my essay completed. I will definitely work on it tomorrow for sure.

Day 66

Day 66

Thur. Nov. 14, 2013

I woke up real early for ARBUS200 group meeting. There was supposed to be four people in total which later turned into two. Is it me or does noone really care about their university work? They are really dragging us behind…

ENGL100A was a typical classes discussing about character and how it ties to heroes and anti-heroes. Nothing really much to go into detail for this class today.

The highlight of the night was video Skype with my girlfriend. It's been a while and it was nice seeing her face. That really ended my day with a smile on my face for a long day.

Day 65

Day 65

Wed. Nov. 13, 2013

ARBUS200 E-Portfolio due tonight and it's all done! What a relief...for now. ARBUS200 was a very fun interactive class as we practiced the art of negotiating. I realized that I'm too nice to negotiate to get lower deals. Oh well, the downsides of being a nice guy then.

After that, our ARBUS200 group met and started brainstorming our big project worth a lot of marks. So much work in innovating a new product and company from scratch. At least I have some business background in a strategic business plan from my other post-secondary experience.

The remainder of the night was me doing as much homework as I can and submitting that painful E-Porfolio online. Tired...must sleep.

Day 64

Day 64

Tues. Nov. 12, 2013

Probably the busiest day it can get for me in this week. So many assignments due that needs to be done this week. Essays, readings, assignments, etc. The list is endless.

ENGL100A was a substitute today and the instructor talked about comic book artists and relating it to our novel studies. After that was VCULT100 where I got my midterm exam results back. It was horrible, but there was nothing I could do about that written essay. I keep telling myself, I'm a writer in the creative side not the logical side in writing analysis.

Lots of work today and I have a headache which I need to rest and recover. As a result, I did not attend ResCouncil and called in sick. Luckily I had two floor reps to cover the missed content for me.

Day 63

Day 63

Mon. Nov. 11, 2013

Lest we forget. This is Remembrance Day and it feels like noone on campus really remembers its a day we honour the fallen soldiers who gave their lives to our freedom and peace. But I remember and I wear my poppy proudly.

Laundry day was today and there was snow outside. Cold chills and gusts of chilly winds really make me want to go in my house and sleep. I hope it doesn't get too chilly because I'm not used to it or I haven't adjusted it too quickly.

I did some novel readings for ENGL100A and then some GBDA103 report for final project. Constant nagging with teammates is starting to annoy me very much. I guess I have to do things the old-fashioned way...my way.

Texting back and worth with my girlfriend is worth it. She's beginning to pick up that flame where it had dimmed. Hope it goes well.

Day 62

Day 62

Sun. Nov. 10, 2013

I woke up this morning feeling very lightheaded and almost threw up. Somehow my balance is off and I can feel the world spinning. Luckily I had Gravol medicine for jetlag and taking one pill was keeping me stable to do my assignments.

Sunday is a day for working on those assignments. After a long dreadful time, I had succesfully finished my E-Portfolio and I needed to work on my VCULT100 essay and other minor assignments. Tough day for a dizzy person.

Later the night, I received a text from that girl who I was supposed to go on dinner tomorrow cancelled it because she didn't want to let me on. Oh wells, it doesn't really affect me that much. All I wanted was to be friends and it's sad how a guy who be friends with a girl must be date status. Unbelievable! Still got my lovely girlfriend who's making progress with her memory. That's always something to look forward to.

Day 61

Day 61

Sat. Nov. 9, 2013

Miracles do happen after all. I woke up this morning with a text message from my girlfriend mentioning some of her memory of us are coming back. She recalls some parts, but not all which is good enough for me.

I worked a lot on my E-Portfolio today and I think with a little bit more tweaks, I would done by tomorrow. Hopefully I have time to work on other assignments such as GBDA103, GBDA101, and VCULT100. Work is piling up and it's not looking well with the three day deficit over what happened last week.

Time to get cracking and tackle the assingments based on closest due date. I also realized that I haven't been writing into too much depth in my blog, maybe I will when the workload decreases.

Day 60

Day 60

Fri. Nov. 8, 2013

Another day at Stratford and the morning was snowing heavily. What a beautiful sight of winter arriving...minus the cold chills. I wish there was more snow because I love seeing the day so bright and pure.

GBDA103 was our last day to work on group projects and yet another member didn't show up to class. Shame. If it continues like this, I'm going to have a meltdown over the workload and that is not good for my health at all.

GBDA101 had a new group project that was worth a lot and cash prizes for designing a minute long animation. So much work piling up especially when the term is nearing to an end in November.

One of my roommates invited his friend to play poker. I told them I was busy and could only play an hour. After one hour, the game was over and I came first by knocking everyone out. Not bad...not bad at all.

Day 59

Day 59

Thurs. Nov. 7, 2013

There's really nothing much to report for today other than ENGL100A which was taking a look at 20,000 Leagues Under the Seas. Other than watching a video on Jules Verne as the founding father of science back in the days, class was very interesting.

Another thing that I did today was that I asked a girl out from my English class to hang out sometime and we've decided to meet on Monday evening. I hope all goes well and in case you are wondering, my girlfriend knows about this because I told her. Not sure how this will pan out, but I am not a player if people are going to judge. I guess this is university life.

Am I a bad person? Am I selfish? Am I just lost? Too much outside thinking, back to schoolwork.

Day 58

Day 58

Wed. Nov. 6, 2013

Another day to take in reality. What's the biggest stunner is when I video Skyped my girlfriend and realizing this is it. Stuff happened and I need to deal with it.

ARBUS200 was today and was the usual long three hour day with presentations on marketing. It was very interesting and informative as I sat uncomfortablely in the seat. After that was our group work and some of our group members were missing. I realized that I have work piling up and that my E-Portfolio is due next week. So not user-friendly...it's annoying.

It was a cold and rainy day and it was not good for my mood as I did not prepare an umbrella and I was drenched in rain. Time to get some work done.

Day 57

Day 57

Tues. Nov. 5, 2013

Today was a busy day as I went to see an instructor that had expressed concerns about my situation by reading my blogs. I had to travel to an unknown place and talk about where and what I'm at in terms of my health and emotions. It was nice because it felt that that the instructor gave attention to their students and at a positive impact at my experience here at Waterloo.

After that, I headed for ENGL100A and we had two group presentations on Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. It was a heated discussion for one of them as I actively participated by thinking critically about the points made and connected them to intertextuality.

Next was VCULT100 where we watched an hour of slum dog Millionaire. It was very Hollywood-like and was focused on the point of ghetto films compared to the City of Gods I watched the day before. Nonetheless, it was another interesting class.

The night ended with me making another VLog for my girlfriend to uphold my word that I said I would do despite the circumstances.

Day 56

Day 56

Mon. Nov. 4, 2013

Three days in a row of not doing any school work. Call me silly, but if you can't fix yourself, why bother doing anything else? My girlfriend is out of her second coma and is cleared for home. Unsure if this was a web of lies played by the parents so I ask her to call me later the evening to see how she was. She calls and unfortunately this is the new reality...she doesn't remember anything.

As if this was some sort of sick joke played by the gods onto me, I will have to confront the reality and accept this. One, she doesn't remember you. Two, she doesn't remember any promises. And three, she doesn't love you. What are my options? What can I do?

Either I toss all of it aside and find someone else or pick up the pain and stick with her. How much does she really mean to me? I think somewhere, someone is testing me on where my loyalties and faithfulness lies. I think about this and talk with some people. So say leave while others say stay, but at the end of the day, it's my decision. It will never be the same again with my girlfriend. I guess I'll see if I can reignite that flame inside her before I call it quits.

Day 55

Day 55

Sun. Nov. 3, 2013

Is there any point in writing this anymore? I have gone into a state of insanity. It has been brought to my attention that my girlfriend could not be my girlfriend and that her sister is not who she says she is. What if this was a plan made my the parents to end us once and for all? To say that she has suffered major memory loss and doesn't remember me. Then again, I called my girl up and I heard her voice yesterday...she was clueless. Unless, she got threatened to lie to me because I know she never would.

What if...this is the reality? The truth is that she forgot me? Somewhere along the conversation between her and her sister's texting seemed to be odd. Some have pointed out that there was some level in fishiness. Somethings just dont add up and fit together completely. Before I know it, her sister said my girlfriend went into another coma. I don't know what to believe anymore...this is too much.

I can't handle this reality. I got no work done today and I feel like I'm falling behind in school now. I rather it be a very cruel lie made by her parents than to accept the other alternate reality, but do I really have a choice? Shall I give up before it consumes me or do I keep that promise I made to her before all this chaos happened?

Day 54

Day 54

Sat. Nov. 2, 2013

This was not the best day of my life and I can tell you that for sure. My girlfriend has finally been conscious and talking according to her sister. The bad news is that she suffered major memory loss as a result. The doctor say she might remember, but more tests are needed. One of which was that she has completely no idea who I am. Completely reset as if we never existed.

I didn't get any work done today as I was in a complete mess. No point of focusing at school work if I can't get my head straight. Here I was sitting in the evening with a bottle of painkillers...wondering if God exists. I let myself in the hands of fate as I flipped coins to determine if God is there. Heads for pill and tails for skip. There was a total of ten pills that I was letting God decide. In the end, I got people online to talk me out of it as I substituted the remainder of the pills with candy. Had I not substituted, 6 out of 10 was what I would have taken on high dosage Ibuprofen400mg. I got intercepted when I took my first pill at pill number 4.

Here I am confessing that I have a problem for the world to see. For the world to judge and blame or laugh. It doesn't matter anymore, I don't care if you are going to scold me like a child or laugh how I cowarded out or look at me different.  All I care is about my girlfriend and that she doesn't even remember me. It hurts so much when I say that I love her and she says with a simple okay because she doesn't have the same feeling we had before. Who am I? What is going on? Why is this happening to me?

Day 53

Day 53

Fri. Nov. 1, 2013

It was a bad night's sleep as I could not stop thinking about my girl. There was nothing I could do and all I heard was that she suffered a cardiac arrest and went into a coma. Her sister don't know how long it will be before she wakes up. God help her.

It's Stratford today and I try to hide my emotions as much as I can. I can't stop worrying about her. If you ask me, I don't really recall much in class today other than the fact that GBDA103 was getting our group work done. Our team had lost motivation in getting the work done.

For GBDA101, we looked at Adobe Flash and After Effects. Another two programs that I don't have which I need for a group assignment.

Later the night, I heard the my girlfriend has got into surgery. Gosh, I feel so useless and sad.