Day 54

Day 54

Sat. Nov. 2, 2013

This was not the best day of my life and I can tell you that for sure. My girlfriend has finally been conscious and talking according to her sister. The bad news is that she suffered major memory loss as a result. The doctor say she might remember, but more tests are needed. One of which was that she has completely no idea who I am. Completely reset as if we never existed.

I didn't get any work done today as I was in a complete mess. No point of focusing at school work if I can't get my head straight. Here I was sitting in the evening with a bottle of painkillers...wondering if God exists. I let myself in the hands of fate as I flipped coins to determine if God is there. Heads for pill and tails for skip. There was a total of ten pills that I was letting God decide. In the end, I got people online to talk me out of it as I substituted the remainder of the pills with candy. Had I not substituted, 6 out of 10 was what I would have taken on high dosage Ibuprofen400mg. I got intercepted when I took my first pill at pill number 4.

Here I am confessing that I have a problem for the world to see. For the world to judge and blame or laugh. It doesn't matter anymore, I don't care if you are going to scold me like a child or laugh how I cowarded out or look at me different.  All I care is about my girlfriend and that she doesn't even remember me. It hurts so much when I say that I love her and she says with a simple okay because she doesn't have the same feeling we had before. Who am I? What is going on? Why is this happening to me?