Day 123

Day 123

Sat. Jan. 25, 2014

As I wake up and stare outside my window, I see a field of white and strong winds. I was not going to head outside despite my food supplies dwindling. I plan to get supplies on Monday after I head back from ARTS111.

Today I have truly found the origin for the cause of stress. It has been this computer game that has been bothering me lately. Since I was the leader of a community for a bunch of fellows looking to make friends and have fun, we have encountered a group of bullies within the game to change our values. Drama such as spies, trash talking, and threats were made to us and I maintained peace for my community. I realized that I have been demoralized and stressed out over this game and it was affecting my health and school. I have bad sleep patterns and self esteem issues as a result of this. As I openly discussed my issues with my supportive girlfriend, she suggested that I take a break from the game as I should never be too much into a game. She was right and I wrote a resignation letter as long as an essay to inspire new leaders in my community and to inspire others to take my place to stand against bullies.

The following is what I wrote in the event I need to refer back on how I write formal notes:

Friends and allies of NB,

Over the past few months, I've had the honour and privilege to meet and be friends with you from a game since the founding of NB. Some of you have become more than just friends on a game from this NB community.

I remember when we were all lower level players looking for a sense of belonging and a place to social and have fun. Before the merger of sectors, NB was the great community protecting 1600 from insectors and intruders. We were able to protect all the gates with the formation of EB 1623 and SB 1614 forming a sector response time of less than 30 seconds.

After the merger, chaos erupted and challenged our peace and unity. First the NOMADS arrived and then the VIKES. We endured the wave of insectors as SB became the first base to fall. When the NOMADS and VIKES left, then came the Spaceballs who further challenged our rightful place of a peaceful home by attacking NB and EB. We were no match for the high level players and it was decided that we evacuate all NB and EB lower to mid-level players into 1300 allied territory to strengthen ourselves while me and some higher levels stayed behind to watch our home. When GG came and wiped Spaceballs off, we immediately brought all members home with us alongside with our new ally from 1300 called MoB where they had lost control of their sector.

Over time as we continued with our ways of maintaining peace and unity throughout the sector, MoB grew rapidly with their presence being known. We respected each other as we helped them recoup from their loss of 1300 sector to insects. As they increased in numbers, EB's leader joined all his members into MoB and decided it to be a recruitment facility. That day, EB fell and NB remained the only native group to remain prior to the merge.

As MoB's power grew, their ways that we knew was less visible as they were the first planet to ever enforce a No-Fly zone in 1600. Freedom was starting to fade and random hits were authorized by them to enforce that rules. When more and more members joined the MoB for a symbol of power, they brought their own personal values that mixed with the original MoB's values. From protecting everyone in the sector, they protected their own even if their members were at fault. No one could stop them without being put on their personal Hit List or any level of management of MoB prevent this injustice.

MoB's values began to clash between our values of true freedom, peace, unity, and civility. Tensions were rising and luckily we were part of a 1500/1600 alliance with HGRD, SIN, and some smaller groups. Negotiations began and they were always biased and turned to favour the MoB. Despite the outcome of the negotiations, we made rules for both NB and MoB to respect which NB distributed the info to all the members while MoB did not and caused them to test the waters of the negotiations. During this period of time, NB members left to MoB and some spies began to stir up trouble from taking things out of context to spark an unnecessary war.

Amidst this chaos, the 1500/1600 alliance lead by a certain leader has a conflict of interest in her duties to conduct diplomatic ways for a high council. I was told that MoB was deciding to stay in or leave the sector and that we were not helping the situation. She was in favour of MoB staying so that they have a force powerful to control and defend the alliance and thus silence our voice in the high council by removing NB members from a seat in the council without any formal notification and elected a MoB member into power where she added two more members into equal power.

Corruption in politics, spies in parties, and bullies will exist anywhere you go in life. Whether it be a game or it be in real life, these things will always exist. 

As history shows us about natives and colonists, I'd ask you to think who was here first and who came as the colonists? Ask yourselves whether the natives lost or the colonists lost in the end?

From this whole experience as your leader in NB, I was told that I was unfit and too young to run this group. I was also told my styles of leading should be reviewed and that a new leader should run this group. I know I am not the best leader nor I am the oldest one with the most life experience, but I know that I am not a corrupt leader holding onto power and forgetting the voices of NB members. Perhaps it's time for someone to shine in the spotlight as I gracefully and humbly step down from all this recent events that NB has faced. I really never saw myself as a leader, but as an equal where everyone deserved the right treatment and respect.

In all honesty, I am posting our NB history down so that you do not forget who we are and continue to drive NB into a brighter and better future for all. Not just ourselves, but for others outside NB. For equality and mutual respect, that is going to be the best possible sector.

With these accumulation of various events, discussions, and talks regarding NB and me, I am stepping down to remove myself from this game and all the stress I have procured while giving NB its voice and the individuals who are not affiliated with any groups due to the fact that I am not feeling well. To be honest and open to you about it, I have went into a state of depression from this game and is not capable of leading NB to my full extent. My girlfriend urged me to take a break from the game as it should never affect anyone's real life and she is right. I will be taking a break from all of this and hope that I do get better into a more stable mindset and away from my depression.

In closing remarks, I'd ask that you remember what NB stood and continues to stand for my fellow friends and allies. We are a community in which we all have fun, be respected, and make new friends. The day we turn into a clan is the day we militarize and lose our autonomy and identity of what defines us and thus makes as the same as any other group out there. Never forget who you are and how you got into NB. Never forget the little guys as we were once low levels. Stand together united and be proud and we shall see the peace and unity we longed for. 

When the sun sets and the moon rises, the sun will rise again. I will return…

Sincerely your friend,

Charlie Chu

NB Member

Seeing how much I wrote for my community, I realized that I have made so many good friends from around the world and I am honoured with tears. Note to self, stand up and speak out against bullying and never stay silent.