Chapter 10- Self Confidence

             I consider myself confident and optimistic in who I am. Although I may lose my optimism, my confidence still remains at a high. Never before have I had my confidence crushed so low that it makes me upset with my life. Is it just one time? No, it’s like a daily occurrence at work.

            Every time I go to work, I start with 100% confidence. When I go back home, it has become a negative percentage. Negative in a way that I doubt myself. Originally at work, I used to work during the day. After I got transferred to another department to work the nights, we had to get trained again. In our training group, I was the only guy. The manager from this department trained us for two weeks straight. During the training, I was kept being picked on and put on the spot where he would tease me, question me, and make jokes about me. He said that I shouldn’t take it to heart and that the reason I was picked on was that I was a guy.  At first, I told myself that it would be different after training was over, but I was wrong…

            At the beginning of training, I had respect and looked up to him as a role model. I told him I would be with him all the way. As things began to worsen, he would joke saying that if I was still with him all the way. No response. When you abuse someone like that and batter down their confidence, I can tell you that you do not have my respect, trust, and loyalty. One day at work, he made a joke of my appearance. I was offended. Sometimes when he picks on me, I feel like crying. What did I do to deserve this? Because I’m a guy? Usually people would resort to their anger first to deal with the problems. I love my job and the people whom I have to work with are my obstacles in making this job perfect for me.

            The following day after he made fun of my appearance, I went home pretty down on myself. Confidence shattered again. I decided I should tell my story about it and let the world know. I’ve also told the girl who lives on the opposite side of the world that games with me. She said it was harassment and sex discrimination. She said that I should report it. She gave me the strength to put back my confidence together. I decided that I will speak to my union representative when I had enough. Eventually, when you push people to their limits, the boiling water spills out of the pot. There will be the time I took a stand for what’s right once again.

            You want to know what’s sad? The girls in my training class knew I was getting picked on. I told them I felt, but none of them stood up for me. For me, it’s all about standing up for the little guys. Everyone deserves equal treatment and respect. If my manager was being a gentleman by not picking on girls, but instead picking on guys, he is not a gentleman in my books. My view of a gentleman is someone who treats everyone fairly and equally regardless of gender, ethnicity, religion, color, race, and by first impressions.

            It’s weird how society allows us to do things so unjust and unfair. Do we sit back and watch the unkindness happen in front of our eyes? Or do we step in and take a stand for what is right?