Chapter 11- The Truthful Way

             Many people find me very honest. I am not a good liar either. Why? I believe in telling the truth. Although people say the truth hurts, I find it necessary to be honest. If you something to be done, you have to be direct. Many people don’t like hearing the truth because sometimes the way one puts it can be so blunt.

            From my standpoint, honesty goes a long way. Someone who is reliable and trustworthy is the products of honesty. In my experience in telling people the truth, I would ask them if they wanted to hear a sweeter, but vague truth, or a direct cold truth. For example, if someone asked me if what they are wearing to a graduation dinner is suitable or not. Sweet version? I would say that the suit looks nice, but perhaps a different suit would suit them better. Cold truth? Honestly, I don’t think that suit is a good choice. Everyone is wearing business casual, so it might be a good idea to blend in. However, it is my truthful opinion, so it’s up to you to decide what you want to wear. Either ways, I’ve shown in the example includes me talking honestly. One indirect and the other more direct.

           With the truth, there is a limit one person can take in each day. The good truth is unlimited, but the bad truth is limited. If you have a lot of bad truth to tell a person, you must determine their mood first. Are they open to feedback? Although indirect truth seems easier, but it’s not going to help them or you. The cold truth is the better way as long as you provide constructive feedback. There’s no point in telling them they have a bad attitude if you’re not going to tell them how to fix it. For me, I want to be a good friend and not a person who’s just there to judge and point out problems.

            When telling the truth, I would make sure I have not offended them and state that it is the truth from my perspective as others may have different views. If they are fine with themselves, don’t keep forcing the truth on them. Perhaps you may be right, but never attack their confidence and self-esteem.

            Honesty is the best policy. That phrase is only true if you abide to the boundaries of each person. The truth is only our perception and in order for the truth to be useful, we must give constructive feedback. It’s up to you if you want to give direct truth or indirect truth. Never lash out at their confidence and self-esteem or you will lose their trust and respect. Perhaps you may even lose a friend.