Chapter 15- Drawing the Line

             There are boundaries to each person. You never know what the boundaries are until you push it too far. Many people have a short tolerance, others are longer. One must respect each other’s limits or else either parties would become distant. You push them too hard and they won’t walk back.

            I know this from my own experience during post-secondary. The time I had my crisis and I relied too much for her help. Eventually she wasn’t able to support me and suggested me for seeking help. I went over her personal time boundaries which resulted in the separation of help. I too have had my personal time boundaries stepped on. There was a guy from my gaming group who had issues with real life. At first, I was really supportive and caring. I gave my support and advice to deal with the issues. Occasionally he would have a tantrum on our gaming chat just to seek attention. After five months, his issues were not resolved and his hunt for attention never stopped. Some members didn’t care anymore, others figured he was just wasting time, and I became less aware of him because it had taken a toll on me. I understand how he feels and what he’s going through, but I have issues too. How can I help others if I can’t even help myself?

            As frustrating as it seems, there was a little part of me that wanted to help him when others had given up.  I had to level with him, tell him my stories in hope that he would get something positive out of it. It’s difficult to hear and see the big picture when every single time he has his body armor on. In times of a crisis, we put on armor assuming it would solve the problems. Truth be told, I find it easier to solve your issues with your armor off as you are more open to others.

            There are other boundaries set within ourselves that others do not know. When someone is close to stepping your boundaries, draw the line and tell them your limit. Don’t let them push you over and make you do something that’s harmful to the relationship. Be assertive of your limits. If they don’t respect it, back away from them. Ask yourself a question. Why are you putting yourself open to someone who does not respect you? It’s not worth it if they treat you as a tool instead of a friend. Think about it.